A continued fight...

Last night was another night of fear before bed. We cried together for quite some time. We once again talked about facing our fears and trusting in God. Sometimes thoughts are so hard to dismiss. It takes great persistence, faith and prayer to move past some of the thoughts that seem to surface in our minds. This is the struggle--to continually push out the sad and bad thoughts, and trust in the good. Amber said that she struggled with getting the night of Brandon's death out of her mind. She said that it continually replays in her mind, and it is always of me crying the word "no". We talked about that night. We faced her fears. And then we talked about the good of that night too. We talked about the praying and the seeking God. We talked about the blessing she received and what it said, and then we listened to the blessing.

I didn't realize that it would be a tender mercy to have the blessing recorded, but as we re-listened to God's words to her, Amber felt fortified and determined to allow God to help her. The blessing was directly related to her struggle right now. When the blessing was first offered Bryan had no idea of what kind of struggle Amber would face, which is a testimony to me that God is aware of us. He sees our struggles, and He sends messages to us to strengthen us in times of need. This blessing was a message from God to Amber, and I believe it will be the source of her strength to overcome. I am so grateful for the power of the priesthood, for the love of God, and for trials. It is through these trials that we have the opportunity to become. The process of becoming is so difficult, but I have no doubt that it will someday be glorious.

Hailey was reading the New Era this morning, and read this quote to me:
Heavenly Father placed you in the best place to use your spiritual gifts and build your talents. No matter where you live or what life circumstances you find yourself in, you can make the choice to succeed, regardless of your challenges. Don't ever give up. Keep going. Don't quit. Remember, its what you do with what you have that makes you who you are. ("New Era, "Where Am I", December 2014).
This is a lesson that we are learning so intensely right now. Last night as I talked with Amber, I felt as if I was begging her to keep going. I felt as if I was pleading and using all the persuasion I had in me to convince her of God's goodness, of beautiful things to come, of peace and happiness. Amber is an amazing young woman. She will succeed, and I will be with her along the way!