Compassion

OUR BAPTISMAL COVENANTS & COMPASSION

A friend of mine is teaching a lesson in a few weeks, and felt impressed to ask me my thoughts on compassion. This is what I wrote:

When I think about compassion, I think of the Savior's love. When we have compassion, we care about someone else the way the Savior would. We put aside our selfishness, and we open our hearts to love someone else. I wish I had a fantastic story about how compassion has changed my life. I am positive it has. I just haven't taken note of it as I should. This past year, I have often prayed for a teacher to have compassion on my son. I keep thinking that if someone would only care enough...then it would make all the difference. You see--Jake struggles in school. He doesn't struggle enough where there needs to be some big intervention--he just struggles in little ways. Those little ways are slowly pushing him further and further behind. I have often prayed for a teacher that would care enough to love my son. I am grateful for this perspective because I think it reminds me to care "enough" about those around me. It is a reminder to me to love. 

I'm reminded of compassion when I think of Hailey's soccer team this year:

There have been a lot of life lessons this year with soccer. Bryan decided to coach this year, so this group of girls could stay together for another two seasons. They are a rock solid team. When they are playing to their ability, they are truly unstoppable--their passes and shots are precise, and they work together as a fluid team. For the entire season, Revolution (Hailey's and Bryan's team name) remained the number 1 team. However, their winning streak slowed after having a two week bye. Just before tournament they lost two games, which put them in 2nd place entering the tournament.  In 2nd place, the road to the championship game was more difficult. In order to make it to the championship, these girls would have to play Thursday night, Friday night, & Saturday morning.  Both Thursday and Friday were strong games for the girls. They beat their opponents 6-0, and then 7-0. 

On Saturday morning, Revolution was ready to enter the semi-finals.The girls outplayed Reign; however, the end score didn't show the results of their labors--they lost in the semi-finals. All 13 girls gathered as a team to discuss the end to their season. Tears rolled down their cheeks as they looked to my husband for reassurance. (This is where my heartstrings pulled just a bit, and where I feel Bryan demonstrated compassion.) As Bryan looked at their tear-stained faces, his voice cracked with emotion when he proclaimed, "This one is on me girls. This one is on me. Don't you dare blame yourselves. Blame me." Bryan later recounted that his heart ached as he saw the girl's disappointment. He understood their disappointment, because he felt it too. He just didn't want them walking away being disappointed in themselves. After all, they had played their hearts out, and they had had an amazing season. For these girls, it was more than just a game. These girls had put it all on the line. They put their whole hearts and souls into the game. Somehow Bryan had to reassure them that it was enough. It was his job as a coach--he had to remind them that losing a game did not define a player.  And that's exactly what he did. He knelt down and talked with them. He talked with them as a whole group--pointing out their moments of success; and then he talked to them individually--calling out individual successes of each and every player. He let them know that he was proud of them, and he then gave them hope to come out even stronger the following season. Each girl looked to him for strength, and he delivered. This was a lesson about hard work and disappointment. It was a life lesson. Sometimes in life, we don't get to choose the outcome of our situations. When this happens, there is always a silver lining--we just have to be willing to find it, and a little bit of compassion a long the way makes the search all the better.

I think this story demonstrates that when we have compassion we truly care about the people around us. We don't simply go through the motions, but we care--we love. 

Last week Amber played in sacrament meeting for the primary program. She was playing while the other girls her age were singing. She played most of the song with no hiccups; however, toward the end of the song--she slipped, and struggled to find her fingering again on the piano. She didn't quite find her place, but she kept going--she kept playing. When the song was finally over, Amber was extremely disappointed. For the rest of the meeting she cried. Bryan and I kept trying to encourage her from afar; however, there was no consoling her. When the program was over, she ran to my side and buried her head in my shoulder. As her little frame shook with disappointment, I reassured her that she did a great job, and that I was proud of her. My eyes filled with tears, and soon both Amber and I were crying on each other's shoulders. She looked up at me, and said, "Mom, if you think I did such a great job, then why are you crying?" I looked back at her, and said, "My heart hurts for you--you are sad, and that make me sad." I truly did think she did a great job. I was proud of her; however, just as Bryan loved his soccer girls, and his heart broke for their disappointment--my heart broke for Amber's disappointment.

  I was filled with compassion towards her. I truly cared about how she was feeling. However, the compassion didn't end with my tears. As Amber and I were deep in conversation, several ward members began approaching Amber to offer her words of encouragement. In fact, we were overwhelmed by the support offered by our ward--hugs were given, encouragement was offered, and by the end of that day--Amber felt reassured and confident. I attribute that confidence to the compassion of our ward members--for seeing a child in need of some love, and offering it to her. 

Isn't that what we promise in our baptismal covenant? Don't we promise to mourn with those that mourn? Comfort those that stand in need of comfort? 

I guess I think compassion means that we live up to our baptismal covenants. We love those around us--we truly love them--just like the Savior would do.

Primary Program and Testimony Meeting

Amber’s Testimony

Amber played in the primary program to accompany the Activity Day girls. She accidentally played the introduction toward the end of the song. However, despite her fumble, she kept playing; however, she was totally heartbroken. Bryan and I kept giving her the thumbs up sign throughout the rest of the program, but she couldn't seem to get control of her tears. (She is a bit of a perfectionist.) After the program, the ward members congratulated her over and over and over and over and over again... She heard time and time again how spiritual her playing the piano made the meeting. She was given notes after primary congratulating her on a job well done. One note read, "I felt the spirit when Amber had the courage to continue playing the piano. I felt her playing was beautiful!" Another person wrote that their favorite song was the song Amber played, because Amber did such a great job on the piano. telling her how amazing her playing was, and how much it touched those present. 

Today, during testimony meeting, Amber got up and bore testimony of the power of prayer. Her voice cracked as she explained that she prayed during the primary program--after making a mistake on the piano, that she could feel peace. She explained that after the program, the ward members came to her rescue by congratulating her, and encouraging her. She bore testimony that she knew that the ward members were an answer to her prayers. 

When Amber finished bearing testimony about the power of prayer, a sister from our ward bore testimony about the power of prayer and Amber being an answer to her prayer. In last month's testimony meeting, Amber bore testimony that priesthood blessings can answer prayers--she had already shared this experience in a past testimony meeting, so I was somewhat surprised when she shared it again; however, I kept my surprise to myself, and I am so glad that I did. Sister Eldredge stood up and bore testimony that Amber's testimony last month was an answer to her prayers. She had been praying for guidance, and much needed direction when Amber's testimony of the power of priesthood blessings entered her mind. Feeling it to be an answer to her prayer, she chose to receive a priesthood blessing, which she felt helped her to make a needed decision in her life.

Heavenly Father truly is aware of each of us. He loves us and He desires to send us blessings. If we can be in tune with the Spirit, we can be an answer to someone else's prayer. The ward member's were an answer to Amber's prayer, and Amber was the answer to Sister Eldredge's prayer. After church I asked Amber about baring her testimony the previous month, and she said she was just so impressed to say what she did.

The Friend

 HOLDING TIGHT TO THE IRON ROD

Amber loves The Friend magazine. She reads from it all of the time. In fact, this last spring she excitedly announced that she had read all of The Friend magazine's through the year I was born. And since that time, she has read all of The Friends that she can access through our electronic device. Every morning Amber's routine includes a chapter of scripture study along with a story from The Friend...or so we thought.

For Monday night's Family Home Evening, we had a discussion about the iron rod, and the importance of "holding to the rod". All of the kid's were blindfolded as they passed through different obstacles while holding to a homemade rod. When Amber got to the end of the rod towards the Tree of Life, I tempted her with everything that was in me (I was playing the role of Satan for our object lesson). Even I was surprised as I cried out in desperation--almost convincing myself that Amber should listen to me, and let go of the rod. After this experience, Amber admitted that my voice was so convincing--so much so that she wanted to let go of the rod, because she trusted me, and knew that I wouldn't lead her astray. We talked about how people we know and love can also believe differently than us, and if we do not have a testimony--we too, can be tempted. In our discussion, Bryan promised the kids that if they were having daily prayer and scripture study, Satan could have no control over them. He told them that we open the door to temptation when we allow ourselves to miss even one day of scripture study and prayer. He said that one day could be justified into two days, and pretty soon we could find ourselves struggling spiritually. During this discussion, I was sure Amber was feeling the spirit as she peered intently in my direction, so I asked her to share what she thinking. To my surprise, her beautiful brown eyes filled with tears, and she asked to speak with Bryan and I after the lesson. My mind reeled. What could Amber possibly need to discuss?

After the other two were tucked into bed, Amber began to cry as she admitted that sometimes rather than reading her scriptures in the morning, she reads two stories from The Friend. Amber's face was filled with absolute concern. I could see her desire to choose the right simply shining through her eyes. My heart melted. I was so grateful that this was Amber's concern, and I found myself repressing a smile. My heart filled with joy as I saw Amber as a true disciple of Christ. Her example to choose the right touched my heart, and I said a prayer of gratitude. Bryan and I quickly reassured her that we believed that The Friend was also the word of God. We told her that she had not sinned. We told her that she was a beautiful daughter of God, and that God was pleased with her desire to read both The Friend and her scriptures. We encouraged her to not allow The Friend to replace her scriptures study; however, we were pleased at her pure desires.

I never want to forget Amber's example of holding to the rod. I never want to forget her desire to choose the right. I never want to forget Amber's love for the Savior.