Memories

Writing a talk for Brandon’s funeral left me emotionally exhausted and overwhelmed. I worked all day on articulating my thoughts, all the while praying to remember more memories from my childhood. Towards the end of the day, we all gathered around Layne as he shared his talk, and then I shared mine. We were all touched by the words written, and we were grateful to have shared them prior to the funeral so as to help control our emotions for the actual day. As I concluded my remarks, I felt an overwhelming sense of sadness as I still hadn't remembered all that I had hoped to remember. I remember communicating to my family the frustration I felt, and the desire I had to simply run down memory lane. As I cried, Layne brought me the greatest peace I had felt since Brandon’s passing. He said, “Brandon was to you what Eric was to me. This is going to be hardest on you. All those memories will come back. Just give it some time.”

Layne and Eric were inseparable as kids. They were best friends. Brandon and I were also inseparable. We too—were best friends.

I have replayed those words a thousand times over again in my mind, and each time they bring me peace. Sometimes we want all the answers. It’s so hard to be patient as things do not work out exactly how we want them when we want them. I think the key is to trust in a greater power--believe in God, and all things will work together. Not necessarily in our own time frame, but in God's time frame.