Choosing to Stand

This last year has been a difficult one for Hailey. Hailey had always attended school in the Boise School District; however, we felt impressed this year that Hailey should attend school in her designated school district. Therefore, all of Hailey's closest friends went to West Junior High while she went to Lake Hazel Middle School. She has struggled throughout the year to find friends, and to feel as if she belonged. That is why it was so difficult for Hailey when she was faced with a moral dilemma. Making a choice to stand up for your beliefs in the midst of trying to feel included is always difficult. In Hailey's Life Skills class, her teacher wanted to teach the students about cyber-bullying via a dramatic movie depicting actual "bullying". Just as the teacher was preparing the students to watch the movie, someone leaned over to Hailey and said that she had seen the movie on Netflix, and that it was rated PG-13. In our home, we choose to wait until we are at least 13 to watch a PG-13 movie, and even when a child turns 13, we are still selective as to what they will watch as Bryan and I are also selective in our viewings. Hailey is only 12, so to watch a PG-13 movie would have been against our rules. And so, Hailey was faced with a choice—would she watch it, or not? With pounding heart, a bit of dread, and a silent prayer, Hailey shot her hand in the air determined to not watch the movie. She explained to her teacher her standards, and asked if there was something else that she could do. The teacher insisted that the movie wasn't rated on YouTube, and that it was completely appropriate for Hailey to view, and further stated that she wouldn't ask Hailey to watch something that was inappropriate. With determination, Hailey again asked if there was something else she could do? The teacher was a bit annoyed as she excused Hailey into a different classroom to read a book. When Hailey stood to leave, she noticed the looks on her classmates’ faces—some looked at her with disgust, others with surprise, and still others with a mixture of “weird and psycho”. A bit embarrassed Hailey excused herself, and then began counting the minutes until Life Skills would be over. That night Hailey came home to tell me of her courage. As she told her story, tears rolled down her cheeks—she so desperately wanted friends, but she also wanted to choose the right. As her mom, I was surprised to hear that a teacher at the school would be showing a PG-13 movie. My initial thought was that perhaps Hailey’s friend was wrong when she told Hailey the rating. After expressing gratitude to Hailey for choosing to stand, I began researching the movie online. On YouTube the movie was indeed not rated—for all movies on YouTube are not rated; however, on Commonsense Media, the movie was rated PG-13 with a suggested age of 14. It took a lot of courage for Hailey to choose to stand for her morals.

This experience reminds me of a talk given by President Monson entitled, “Dare to Stand Alone”. In that talk he said, “As we go about living from day to day, it is almost inevitable that our faith will be challenged. We may at times find ourselves surrounded by others and yet standing in the minority or even standing alone concerning what is acceptable and what is not. Do we have the moral courage to stand firm for our beliefs, even if by so doing we must stand alone?”  (Thomas S. Monson, “Dare to Stand Alone, October 2011).

In Primary we learn song that goes like this:
I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
I know who I am.
I know God’s plan.
I’ll follow Him in faith.
As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we take Christ’s name upon us. At baptism, we covenant to enter into His Kingdom, and we choose to follow His path. As members, whatever we do—it reflects on His name. Will we have the courage to stand when it means will be standing alone? When we are in that moment of decision, what will we do with His name?

Each and every one of us have had those “moments” in our lives—those moments of decision.  In a world where holiness is mocked, I have often reflected on the “how” of standing. And as I have pondered, my thoughts keep returning to “obedience”. The “how” of standing happens when we choose to be obedient. When we choose to read our scriptures and apply them to our lives, when we choose to follow the FOR THE STRENGTH OF YOUTH…ultimately when we choose to keep the commandments despite the difficulties, and no matter the consequences. If I may I would like to illustrate with a personal experience from my own life. When I was in Junior High, I was asked to speak out against a young man who I had witnessed breaking the rules. I wasn’t alone in my decision to take a stand. Five of my girlfriends joined me as we met with the principal, and conveyed the experience. To our surprise, our testimonies against this young man were the cause of his expulsion from school. In an effort to protect us from social ridicule, our principal gave us an alibi. He placed us all in detention, and we were told to say that we had been caught sloughing, so as to hide from our peers our reason for not being in class. I remember feeling that I had made the right choice to speak out; however, I didn't feel at peace with the alibi given to me by the principal. In fact, as I started relaying the alibi to my peers—no one believed me. I had never sloughed before, and because of the way I conducted myself on a regular basis—no one seemed to believe our story. That night, with a heavy heart, I explained my situation to my father, and he counseled me to do a hard thing. He told me that it was right to take a stand, but just because I had done one right—didn't make it okay to cover it up with a wrong. Lying was still lying. He counseled me to pray about my decision, but he felt that I should be honest with my peers, and stand behind my original decision to take a stand. Telling the truth not only perjured myself, but all of the other girls who had also taken a stand—our alibi would no longer be an alibi. The next morning I apologized to each of them, and explained what I was about to do. Some of them begged me to change my mind, but I could not be swayed—I was resolute in my determination to do what was right. The months that followed were difficult ones for me. My family received phone calls in the middle of the night with threats, and profanity. I was talked about openly—even so I could hear the conversations in hallways and in the locker room. My peers would turn their back on me in the hall, and at times I felt as if I had some sort of disease. Ultimately, I felt very much alone. Even my best friend was angry with me. However, despite the challenges--the peace that I felt made it worth the trial. I knew that I had made the right choice, and I truly felt that Heavenly Father was with me. This experience solidified my heart and sealed my testimony of the power of obedience. I became something more. My classmates knew it—I knew it. After the anger and frustration had worn off, my peers treated me with a new level of respect. More important than their respect—however, was my new determination to be obedient—always—no matter the cost. Mosiah 2:41 states, “And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness” (Mosiah 2: 41). When we choose to keep the commandments, when we choose to stand on the Lord’s side, when we choose to stand in Holy Places—we are blessed and we set ourselves on the pathway of becoming all that our Father intended of us. We are molding and shaping our lives. Sister Dalton said, "Take a few minutes to envision where you want to be in one year or two or five. Then take action to prepare yourselves. People don't just run a marathon when they decide to do it. They must train daily, slowly building stamina and endurance to run the 26.2-mile distance. So it is with life. It is daily diligence…that will help you reach your goals. Your daily decisions will influence generations" (Elaine S. Dalton, "Press Forward and Be Steadfast," Ensign, May 2003, p.105).

As we choose daily to follow the Lord’s way, we choose to put His name upon us, we choose true happiness, and the pathway to eternal life.

Writing a Book

I keep thinking of Noah’s example when he was asked to build an ark—his example to “do” whatever the Lord asked. It took Noah 120 years to build an ark. In that time, he was mocked and ridiculed. I have wondered if he ever questioned his building the ark, if he ever thought: Who am I to build an ark?... Am I truly hearing the Lord? ...There is no water? However, the scriptures do not say that Noah questioned. The scriptures paint a different picture. The scriptures teach that Noah didn't doubt his faith, but followed the will of the Lord to the best of his ability. Not only that--but that he directly guided by the Lord on exactly how to accomplish his task of building an ark. I keep thinking of Noah, and I can't help but relate his experiences to our day. No matter our journey, there will be hardships along the way. I am sure Noah’s hardships felt insurmountable; however, it didn't deter him from doing what the Lord asked.

I have been feeling for quite some time that I need to be writing a book. I fight a constant battle within myself. Things like: Who am I to write a book?... What do I have to say that will be beneficial to other’s?... I don’t even know where to begin? …and it continues. However, I can’t deny that the impressions that have come over and over again. In an effort to be like Noah, I am beginning my journey of writing. And like Noah didn't know how to build an ark--I too, don't know how to write a book; however, I do have faith. I believe that if the Lord can teach Noah how to build an ark, then maybe he can teach me how to write a book.

I'm really not sure what my book will be about. Ever since I can remember I have yearned to “become” all that my Heavenly Father wants me to become. Perhaps, this is a process in that becoming. Perhaps, that will be theme of my book. I don’t see myself as “having arrived”. I haven’t. Nowhere close. However, I do seek Him with all of my heart, and perhaps that is what I need to be sharing—my experiences of “becoming” of “seeking my Father”. I have so much more to learn that I feel somewhat inadequate; however, I am praying to simply be an instrument. I will write what I am prompted.  Whatever I am meant to share, I hope it will help others’ in their journey of life.

The decision to write a book didn't happen in a moment. It was little promptings over a long period of time that finally brought me to my knees seeking to know if this was His direction for me. At one point in time, I was pondering and praying about the possibility of writing a book when my neighbor came over to tell me that she was moved by what I had written in my blog, and that she thought I should write a book. She had no idea that I had been praying about the possibility of writing a book—I hadn't told anyone. As she verbalized her thoughts to me, I felt it was an answer to my prayer that I couldn't deny. There were other things leading to this decision as well. Most of them small and simple—little promptings, or thoughts—conversations, and experiences—all of them leading to this end result of writing a book. My writings may not be connected in the beginning. For now…I’m just going to write what I feel.