I was once again a little girl.

The Love of My Parents

When I was a little girl, I used to climb into bed with my parents all of the time. I liked having my parents to myself before the busyness of the day began. I felt loved and connected to them as we talked about big things and small things. I remember feeling comforted as a child and then as a youth as we talked about my life and what was important to me. My dad would always tease me as I tried to crawl in, and act as if I was interrupting his sleep, but I knew it was all just an act. I knew he liked my visits as much as I liked visiting.

After Brandon passed away, I had trouble sleeping--especially while I was staying in Idaho Falls away from my husband. One particular night, I felt I had been awake all night. I found myself waking up almost every two hours with tears rolling down my cheeks. All of my dreams were centered on my loss of my little brother, and it was difficult for me to sleep. After having such a terrible night's rest, I longed for my husband to comfort me; however, he was still in Boise taking care of our three kids. As I lay in bed, and as I longed for comfort, I suddenly remembered where I had found comfort as a little girl. I remember sneaking down the hallway to my parent's room and slowly crawling into bed with them. I felt like I was 7 again as I snuggled into the covers.

I laughed as my dad rolled over and asked, "What are you doing crawling into my bed?"

I did my best at sounding absolutely innocent as I responded, "I am cold. And I am sad. And I wanted some company."

My mom chimed in at that moment, and said, "Well, Keith, move over and make some room for her."

We talked for quite some time about our struggle and our understanding of the Plan of Salvation. Each of us bore testimony of the afterlife, and of families being forever. I felt more peace that morning than I had since learning of Brandon's death. I needed the reassurance that sometimes only parents can offer. I was grateful that my parents loved me enough to scoot over and make some room for their struggling daughter. I was also grateful for a Father in Heaven who reminded me to seek my earthly parents for comfort. I truly believe He was answering my prayers of comfort by sending me to my parents room that night.

As I reflect on this moment, I feel encompassed about by the love of my earthly parents and by the love of my Heavenly parent. I am truly grateful for the healing that took place that morning as I was able to talk about my thoughts and my struggles. It was painful as we relived the moments of Brandon's passing, and as I asked questions concerning spiritual promises that had not yet been fulfilled, but it was healing. Healing for me and I think healing for my parents too.