Modesty Fireside

THE WHY of MODESTY

When my oldest daughter went to first grade, I remember feeling sad. All of a sudden my daughter’s greatest influence had changed from me—to her teacher. How could I possibly trust someone I had never met to take care of my little girl? I struggled with this transition—I struggled more than I would like to admit. Through many heart-felt prayers, I felt impressed to start a tradition with my precious daughter—a tradition that is still alive and well to this day. Every morning I ask her: “Who are you?” To which she answers: “I am a daughter of God.”

Each and every one of us is a precious daughter of our Heavenly Father. Every Sunday—you—young women stand and proclaim, “We are daughter’s of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love Him.” Elder Holland said, “You are literally a spirit daughter of heavenly parents with a divine nature and an eternal destiny.  That surpassing truth should be fixed deep in your soul and be fundamental to every decision you make as you grow into mature womanhood” (Jeffrey R. Holland, “To Young Women”, October 2005 General Conference).  

In our day it is difficult to remember our worth. We are “bombarded in movies, television, fashion magazines, and advertisements with the message that looks are everything! The pitch is, ‘If your looks are good enough, your life will be glamorous and you will be happy and popular” (Jeffrey R. Holland, “To Young Women”, October 2005 General Conference).  It can be easy to forget who we are. In the Book of Mormon there are numerous examples of prophets who understood their worth, and they knew for what they stood. I love the example of Moroni, when he said, “They put to death every Nephite that will not deny the Christ, and I, Moroni, will not deny the Christ” (Mor. 1:1), he knew his divinity and he had power to withstand. Nephi also knew of his worth when he proclaimed, “I, Nephi having been born of goodly parents” (1 Ne. 1:1), as well as Mormon when he said, “I am a disciple of Jesus Christ—the son of God” (3 Ne. 5:13). What about the Stripling Warriors when it was written that “they had been taught by their mother’s, if they did not doubt—God would deliver them?” (Alma 55:47). Can you imagine their strength of character—their resolve to do the Lord’s will no matter the cost? These examples demonstrate the power that comes from knowing and understanding our divinity. By understanding our worth, we can be given the power from on high to withstand the temptations of this world, and to rise above the messages of glamour bombarding us on every side.

Elder Holland reminds us of this truth when he spoke on the power of dressing modestly. He said, “I plead with you young women to please be more accepting of yourselves, including your body shape and style, with a little less longing to look like someone else. We are all different. Some are tall, and some are short. Some are round, and some are thin. And almost everyone at some time or other wants to be something they are not! But as one adviser to teenage girls said: “You can’t live your life worrying that the world is staring at you. When you let people’s opinions make you self-conscious you give away your power. … The key to feeling [confident] is to always listen to your inner self—[the real you.]”  And in the kingdom of God, the real you is “more precious than rubies” (Jeffrey R. Holland, “To Young Women”, October 2005 General Conference).  

When we seek the approval of others, we lose sight of our inner self. We all have an “inner self” that guides us and directs us. Recently, my daughter was practicing her piano, when she kept stopping to pull on her shirt. From my perspective, her shirt looked fine; however, it was obvious that my daughter was uncomfortable. She was so distracted by her shirt that she finally decided to change her shirt entirely. After my daughter changed, I was grateful she listened to her inner spirit. When we listen to that inner self—we are confident. If there is any questions as to whether or not something is modest—the easiest solution is to simply not wear it! When we dress modestly, what our Father in Heaven thinks becomes more important than what the world thinks. In the For Strength of Youth it states, “Through your dress and appearance, you can show that you know how precious your body is. You can show that you are a disciple of Jesus Christ and that you love Him”. It further states that “when you are well groomed and modestly dressed you, you invite the companionship of the Spirit and you can be a good influence on others. Your dress and grooming influence the way you and others act.”

When I was a young woman, I learned firsthand how my dress could influence others for good and invite the companionship of the Spirit. As a junior in High School, I competed in the Junior Miss Pageant. It was an expectation in my family that I would participate; however, in order to participate, a contestant needed to be able to perform a talent on stage. I felt that I was talented on the basketball court, but I wasn't sure how to demonstrate that talent in a pageant setting—I felt much like a fish out of water. After much consideration, a friend and I choreographed a clogging routine to the song “Great Balls of Fire”. My clogging experience was minimal, but due to a talented, patient friend—I was able to pull it off. Once my talent was underway, my mother and I went shopping to prepare for the evening gown competition. As we shopped, we gave only one criterion to each salesclerk—it had to be modest. It never occurred to me that this decision would make any sort of impact on someone else; however, after the pageant, I received a letter that said:

 “Dear Carrie, I just had to drop you a note to tell you how proud I was of you at the pageant last night. You were so beautiful and radiated that same spirit that you have inside you! You were truly an example of your young woman medallion. You chose to be modest in your dress when many other LDS girls didn't...thank you for being an example.”

When I chose my attire for that evening, I had no idea that anyone else would notice my dress. I had no idea that I was setting an example. I had no idea that I radiated the spirit through my dress.

President Harold B. Lee said, “Do not underestimate the important symbolic and actual effect of appearance. Persons who are well groomed and modestly dressed invite the companionship of the Spirit of our Father in Heaven and are able to exercise a wholesome influence upon those around them... Outward appearance is often a reflection of inward tendencies” (The Teachings of Harold B. Lee, ed. Clyde J. Williams [1996], 220).

We are daughters of our Heavenly Father. He does love us! He wants more than anything for us to return to Him someday. In order for us to be worthy of such a gift, we need to act the part. We need to take to heart the examples that are provided us in the scriptures, and do as they did—stand firm in our resolve to choose the right—to keep the commandments of God. We are promised in Mosiah 2:41 that when we keep the commandments of our Heavenly Father, “we are blessed in all things—both temporal and spiritual”.  Elder Holland said, “For you to fully claim Heavenly Father’s blessings and protection, we ask you to stay true to the standards of the gospel of Jesus Christ and not slavishly follow the whims of fads and fashions” (Jeffrey R. Holland, “To Young Women”, October 2005 General Conference).  Dearest Young Women, these promised blessings are yours to be had. I stand tonight and ask you the same question that I ask my daughter, “Who are you?” To which we can all answer, “We are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love Him! Let us stand as witnesses of God. Let us demonstrate our love for our Heavenly Father through our modest attire, and by so doing gaining confidence in the presence of the Lord.

THE KEY TO SPIRITUAL PROTECTION

In our world today, I have often felt worried, and I have desired for a sure way to protect myself and my family from the adversary. Our ultimate goal in this life is to live worthy to receive eternal life.  I love in the Book of Mormon when King Lamoni’s father asked, “What shall I do that I may have this eternal life?” I have often wondered similarly, and questioned—am I doing enough? What more can I do? There have been times when I have lamented to my husband that I wished I had my own personal Liahona. In the Book of Mormon, the Liahona was used by Lehi and his family. It was a brass ball that gave both spiritual counsel and directional instruction. However, the Liahona worked only according to the faith and diligence of Lehi’s family (1 Nephi 16: 28-29). I have told my husband that if I could only look into a ball, and be told exactly what to do, I would then do it. I would follow it exactly. These wistful thoughts were hinged on my desire for protection against the adversary, and my ultimate goal of eternal life. As I have prepared for this talk, I have realized that I do have a Liahona—it is the word of God, or in other words—the scriptures.

Alma 37: 44-45  illustrates how the scriptures are our personal Liahona’s. It states,

44 For behold, it is as easy to give heed to the ^aword of Christ, which will point to you a straight course to eternal bliss, as it was for our fathers to give heed to this compass (the Liahona), which would point unto them a straight course to the promised land.

45 And now I say, is there not a ^atype in this thing? For just as surely as this director did bring our fathers, by following its course, to the promised land, shall the words of Christ, if we follow their course, carry us beyond this vale of sorrow into a far better land of promise.
[italicized added for explanation purposes]

This scripture promises us that if we study the words of Christ, and give heed to those words, we will be guided to eternal life. The prophets through the ages have offered us many promises by simply studying the words of God. I have been astounded at the blessings that the Lord is ready to offer us. By no means am I able to list all of the blessings that we might receive if we study the scriptures, but I would like to share a few to demonstrate just how the scriptures are our personal Liahona’s. Listen to these promises:

President Hinckley promised, “I promise you that as you read, your minds will be enlightened and your spirits will be lifted” (Gordon B. Hinckley, “The Light within You”, May 1995).

In a recent talk given by Elder Packer he said, “Happiness…depends upon living those standards established by the Savior and set forth in His scriptures.” He further stated that “Scriptures hold the keys to spiritual protection” (“The Key to Spiritual Protection”, Boyd K. Packer, General Conference).

President Ezra Taft Benson promised, “When individual families immerse themselves in the scriptures regularly and consistently, other areas of activity will automatically come. Testimonies will increase. Commitment will be strengthened. Families will be fortified. Personal Revelation will flow” (Ezra Taft Benson, “The Power of the Word,” Ensign, May 1986).

Bruce R McConkie promised “an increase of faith and desire to do what’s right…” (Bruce R. McConkie, in Church News, 24 Jan. 1976). Marvin J. Ashton said that the scriptures are “our bulwark of defense against a cunning adversary” (Marvin J. Ashton, in Conference Report, Oct. 1977). L. Tom Perry promised that scripture study will enrich our lives and prepare our families to meet the challenges of today… (L. Tom Perry, in Conference Report, April 1993).

And my personal favorite “promise” of scripture study is found in the Book of Mormon when Nephi said, “whoso would hearken unto the word of God, and would hold fast unto it, they would never perish; neither could the temptations and the fiery darts of the adversary overpower them unto blindness, to lead them away to destruction” (1 Ne. 15:24).

I love that Nephi tells us that as we listen to the “word”, we cannot be overpowered by Satan’s temptations! With temptations surrounding us on every side, this is a huge promise!  This point is illustrated by Lehi’s vision of the tree of life. From that vision we learn that by holding to the rod, which is the word of God, we can traverse through Satan’s temptations, and partake of God’s love or in other words—eternal life. This vision is another example within the scriptures that the “word of God” or “the scriptures” are our personal Liahona’s for true happiness. Sister Cooke, in a recent general conference, spoke to parents’ in their role of holding to the rod. She said, “In today’s world, complete with temptations, holding fast can be challenging. As Satan, in his conniving ways, tries to pull us away from God’s ways—if we have one hand on the rod, and one hand in the world we put our children and youth in danger of losing their way on the path. If our example is confusing than in Jacob’s words—we lose the confidence of our children because of our bad examples. Our message must be clear; clarity can only result from having both hands on the rod, and from living by the truths found in the scriptures and taught by latter-day prophets.”

The scriptures have truly blessed my life, and the lives’ of my family. As we study the scriptures and apply the principles to our lives—we are partaking of the blessings we have been promised. Allow me illustrate by sharing two personal stories from my life.

My first experience is about how the scriptures can bring us peace in times of need.  About three years ago a friend of our family passed away. After his passing, Jacob began asking questions concerning death. After a while those questions turned inward, and he began asking questions concerning his death, and with his questions of death—fear became our companion. Jacob was afraid of dying. As his mother, I felt that we needed to help Jacob face his fears. One of those fears was riding his bike. I felt that the Lord guided me as I took off the training wheels from Jacob’s bike; however, as Jacob cried for his training wheels—I questioned my methods more than once. Slowly our work turned into progress, and Jake began riding his bike; however, he was still consumed by his fear. One morning as we were getting ready to ride bikes, I felt prompted to say a prayer with Jake. We talked about praying for help in riding his bike, and then we prayed for that help. After his prayer, I again felt prompted, and I asked Jake to tell me his favorite scripture. He slowly began reciting Joshua 1:9, “Have I not commanded thee? Be strong and of good courage; be not afraid…” as soon as Jacob said those words, I stopped him and asked him to repeat the last part again. As he slowly said the words, “be not afraid”, understanding seemed to change his countenance. I then asked him to tell me the rest of the scripture, to which we concluded that Heavenly Father would help us in our fears. We set out to ride bikes with a new determination. As we started to ride, Jacob lost his courage, and started to cry out in desperation. It was at this moment that I reminded Jacob of our scripture, “Jake—be not afraid.” Remembrance flickered on his face and he began chanting, “be not afraid, be not afraid, be not afraid” (Joshua 1:9).  Jake’s bike steadied, and ever since that moment, whenever he finds he is nervous—he chants, “be not afraid, be not afraid, be not afraid”. Through this scripture, Jacob became the boy I knew him to be. He believed with all of his heart that God would be with him, because the scripture said He would. Elder Scott said that “scriptures can calm an agitated soul, giving peace, hope and a restoration of confidence in one’s ability to overcome the challenges of life” (The Power of Scripture, Richard G. Scott, General Conference).

My second experience is about how scriptures can bring us closer to our Heavenly Father and His plan for us. I have an elder brother who until just recently has not been interested in many of the lasting joys that accompany membership in our church. However, slowly his disinterest turned to interest, and two years ago my dear brother and his beautiful wife were sealed in the temple with their two children. I can’t begin to express the feelings that accompanied this marvelous event. It truly was a sacred moment in our family. After the sealing, I asked my sister-in-law what it was that made the difference for her and her family. She said that it started with a simple goal—a baby step.  As a family they made a goal to read the Book of Mormon in a year. She said that at times it was difficult. She remembers many mornings when no one wanted to rise for early morning scripture study, but through perseverance day by day this baby step turned into something more than a simple goal. The seed planted by the word of God, began to enlarge their souls, and by the end of the year my brother received the priesthood, and he and his wife were sealed in the temple for time and all eternity. My sister-in-law said that without scripture study, they would not have made their covenants in the temple.

The scriptures are a part of my families’ everyday life. Sometimes they help in big ways like these stories mentioned, but most of the time it’s the fortification that they provide to me and my family on a daily basis. When I don’t read my scriptures, I can feel a difference. I am a better wife and mother when I take the time to read. My niece is serving a mission in Philadelphia when she called home for Christmas she testified of this truth. She said that she knew that as she studied her scriptures with real intent, she could feel the power of the Holy Ghost with her as she taught; however, when she simply read to just read—she could no longer feel that power.

I am amazed at the love of our Heavenly Father. He wants us to succeed. He has provided for us a manual—an instruction book, our own personal Liahona, and it is simply up to us to use it. Elder Eyring has said that, “the only way you can be sure that a busy schedule doesn’t crowd out scripture study is to establish a regular time to study the scriptures” (Eyring, A Discussion on Scripture Study, Ensign 2005). By making an effort to set aside a little of our day in the study of scriptures, we are promised great blessings. In Alma 37:6 it says that “by small and simple things, great things are brought to pass.” It’s a small portion of our time devoted to the Lord, and he rewards us greatly. As we start the New Year, it is my prayer that we will recommit ourselves to the studying of our scriptures, and as we do so—we will be on the pathway to eternal life.