HE IS AWARE

I am amazed at the love of Heavenly Father. I am in awe at His plans and designs--even in the tiniest of matters. Six months ago I was asked to give a talk at Girl's Camp. I prepared for months. The Sunday prior to giving the talk, I received an impression that I wasn't meant to give that talk "yet", but that I was meant to write a different talk. I remember sitting in Sacrament Meeting while tears ran down my cheeks. I was overwhelmed with the prospect of writing a new talk in just one day. I had spent months on the talk that I had prepared. With trust and faith, I rewrote a talk. It was a miracle as the words flowed through me. I was amazed at Heavenly Father 's hand in orchestrating the perfect talk for the young women. I felt the power of the changed talk, and I knew that it was God's will. I felt grateful to have followed His prompting, and I had no doubts that I was merely a tool in accomplishing His designs. I was humbled as I knew this experience was a lesson for me to trust Him in all things. With that being said, I also felt that He had guided me with the first talk. After completing the second talk, I felt certain that the first talk would be delivered at a later time. Last week when Brother Brasher called and asked me to speak, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace and a sure knowledge of the talk that needed to be delivered. I am amazed that Heavenly Father prepared a talk six months prior to its delivery. He knew that I wouldn't have had time to prepare when Brother Brasher asked, so He helped me prepare when I did have time. He knew that the message I prepared would be needed for someone at the moment I delivered it--6 months in the future. After speaking in church, I received messages from several people expressing the need for the words that were shared. Heavenly Father is aware of us. He is a part of the smallest details. He cares. He loves us. He wants us to succeed.

Here is the Talk (somewhat altered from its original form):

BE STRONG and of GOOD COURAGE:

When we were sent here to earth, our Heavenly Father gave us the gift of agency. Because we have been given the ability to choose, it is ultimately up to us to decide our final destination. I have often envisioned what it will be like to stand before my Father in Heaven and be judged for my actions. Recently, I was taught a lesson on this topic. My mother-in-law entrusted my husband and I with her most prized possession—a necklace made from her mother’s wedding ring. She had left it at the cabin, and asked that we deliver it to her. Knowing the importance of this item, my husband and I discussed ways in keeping it safe, and then followed through with our plan. However, when it came time to deliver the necklace, it was no longer where it had been placed for safe keeping. This realization ensued several weeks of searching and praying for the lost heirloom. Throughout this time of prayer and contemplation, my soul longed for a “redo”. My mind was relentless with the “if only’s”, and the “should of’s”.  I couldn’t help but think of what I could have done, or what I should have done. In the midst of my turmoil, I was taught a lesson. One evening while contemplating the lost heirloom, my mind was opened to a new thought. In my mind I saw myself standing in front of my Savior after I had completed my time here on Earth. As I stood, my mind wondered—will I want a “redo”, or will I have done all that I could? In 2 Nephi it states, “Therefore, lift up your hearts, and remember that ye are free to act for yourselves, to choose the way of everlasting life, or the way of everlasting death” (2 Nephi 10:23). President Monson has stated, “Life’s journey is not traveled on a freeway devoid of obstacles, pitfalls, and snares. Rather, it is a pathway marked by forks and turnings. Decisions are constantly before us. To make them wisely, courage is needed…” (“The Call for Courage”, President Thomas S. Monson, General Conference, 2004).

Joshua 1:9 states, “Have I not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest” (Joshua 1:9).

This scripture has become a motto for my family. I truly believe as we have courage, as we move forward with faith, and as we allow God to be a part of our lives, we will be choosing the pathway of eternal life. Today I would like to take a closer look at the principles this scripture teaches.

BE STRONG AND OF A GOOD COURAGE

The first part of our scripture states, “Be Strong and Of Good Courage” (Joshua 1:9). The scriptures are full of examples of courage. I love the example of Noah when he had the courage to build an ark on dry ground. I love the example of David when he fought Goliath. I love the courage of Esther when she faced the king even when it could mean death for her. There is also the story of Moroni when he declared that he “would not deny the Christ”, the story of Daniel in the Lion’s den, the story of the stripling warriors, the story of Samuel on a city wall, and the story of Abinidi testifying to his death. These are just a few of the examples of courage in the scriptures. In all the scriptural accounts of courage there is a common theme—each of these heroes were seeking the Lord: they had a testimony of Him, and His goodness, and they were then strengthened with courage to endure any trial that they faced. And so it is with us--I believe that in order for us to have courage to make the correct decisions, we must first have a testimony. President Monson has talked about both courage and testimony being needed in order to make correct decisions. When speaking about courage, he said, “In order for us to make the correct decisions, courage is needed—the courage to say no when we should, the courage to say yes when that is appropriate, the courage to do the right thing because it is right” (Be of Good Courage, Thomas S. Monson, April 2014 General Conference). About testimony, he has said, that “in order for us to be strong, and to withstand all the forces pulling us in the wrong direction…, we must have our own testimony” (“Dare to Stand Alone”, President Monson, General Conference, October 2011). Thus, in order to have courage to make the decisions required, we must have a testimony. Therefore, our beliefs guide our courage.

When I was a freshman at Ricks College, I had a professor that opened my eyes to the importance of our individual testimonies. She told us that we were all in dire circumstances, and in order to survive—we had to be willing to give up “the less important” things in life. And then, she had each of us pick from cards at the front of the room. A few of the cards were: fax machine, computer, boat, radio, iPod, email, camera … At first it seemed pretty easy to take a few things from our list, but the lesson didn’t stop at a few things. After one round, she stood again, and said people were dying—circumstances where dire, what else are you willing to give up? And then each of us was required to again choose from the list of items: close friends, sense of sight, the living prophet, church organization, priesthood blessings, immediate family, temple ordinances… I remember that as we got down to the last two items: testimony of Jesus Christ, and a living prophet; an argument broke out in our class. One girl was extremely upset at the choice that was being made by the student who was last to choose. This girl begged our teacher to have the lesson stop; however, the point of the lesson was to eliminate all but one. The student who was last to pick was choosing to remove a living prophet. The last card was a testimony of Jesus Christ. My professor then said to the class, “If a testimony is the most important thing each of you has, then why is it so easy to spend your time in pursuit of things that are not as important”? She was right. My time was constantly filled with important things, but perhaps not as important as working on my testimony. Testimony is our most prized possession.

In the October conference, Elder Utchdorf said, that a personal testimony of the gospel and the Church is the most important thing you can earn in this life”. He further stated that “gaining a testimony is not a task of a minute, and hour, or a day. It is not once and done. The process of gathering spiritual light is the quest of a lifetime”. I would like to add my testimony to Elder Utchdorf’s words that as we firmly place our hearts with God, we will have the courage to act in moments of decision.

BE NOT AFRAID

The second part of our scripture states, “be not afraid”. When we are fearful, we allow the world to get in the way of our ultimate goal and our faith is weakened. I think I am just beginning to understand the process of fear and faith. This past summer, I had an experience while at Roaring Springs that has broadened my understanding. 

While we were in the Lazy River, all of a sudden, a panicked lifeguard was pointing, running, and blowing on her whistle. As I turned to see what she was pointing at, I could see a lifeless toddler on the bottom of the pool. I ran to assist the drowning child. I'm not sure why I didn't let go of Jacob, so that I could better help the child—Jacob was on a tube, and completely fine, but my mind didn't register that I needed both of my hands to better assist the drowning child. Instead, I tried frantically to lift the body with my one remaining hand. When the lifeguard finally arrived, she quickly pulled the child the rest of the way out of the water. It was then that I realized the child was only a mannequin—a decoy in an effort to train the lifeguard. I walked away from the lifeguard crying silently. I kept chiding myself for being upset--all the while, grateful that it WAS a mannequin and not a real child. I think this experience was simply too close to home for me.

When I was seventeen, my brother drowned. When he died, I found myself afraid to participate in water activities. My father told me that I couldn’t allow fear to control my actions. He taught me the importance of being faithful and not fearful. He taught me that it was a choice. This experience at Roaring Springs took me back eighteen years to the time when my brother was pulled out of a river, and all of those fears came rushing back. After my experience at Roaring Springs, there are two lessons I’m beginning to understand. First, I believe fear works against faith.

When we face our fears with faith, God is near. In D&C it states, "Search diligently, pray always, and be believing and all things will work together for your good." That is what faith is all about--it is believing that no matter what happens is for our good. I may not understand everything in my life, there may be uncertainties, and most definitely there will be bad things that happen--I cannot prevent that—fearing the bad will not stop the bad from coming; however, it will work against my faith by negating my trust in God.

The second lesson I am learning is that living by faith--not fear is something I choose. When my faith is strong, I am able to face the difficulties of each new day. In these moments, I am seeking the Lord, I am praying, and I am making Him a part of my life. It is in these moments that I am full of faith. And then there are times when I allow my problems or fears to overwhelm me. I feel anxious, and worried—I forget to seek the source of my strength—(my Heavenly Father)—and I react poorly to the situations in my life. I am beginning to think that these are moments of fear.

Gregory Clark spoke at a BYU Devotional, and he said that it seems to be contradicting when we know that the Gospel is true (Gregory Clark, “Some Lessons on Faith and Fear, BYU Devotional, May 6, 2008), and yet we have to continually remind ourselves to choose faith rather than fear. He then explained with a story from the Bible.

On a boat, in a stormy sea—Jesus was awakened by his apostles:

“Master, carest thou not that we perish?” (Mark 4:38).

The Lord calmed the storm, and then asked them, “Why are ye so fearful? How is it that ye have no faith?”(Mark 4:40).

The disciples had sat at the Savior’s feet. They had witnessed the Savior’s power. The Savior was on the boat with them, and they knew that the Savior’s mission on earth was not yet complete; however, at that moment—it was difficult to see past the raging storm. Brother Clark explained this situation by saying, “their memories of His works and His words and their hope in the future reality of His promises were not, at that moment, nearly so real to them as the storm…at that moment, the only things they had perfect knowledge of were the intensity of the storm, the fragility of their boat, the depth of the water, and their distance from the shore. At that moment their mortal senses were filled with fear: They could see and hear and feel the threat of their circumstances” (Gregory Clark, “Some Lessons on Faith and Fear, BYU Devotional, May 6, 2008).

And so it is with us, we know the gospel of the Restoration is true, but what we don’t know is how or when our trials will be resolved. The Lord has promised us that He will be with us, but at times—living in the day to day moments—it is easy to be uncertain (Gregory Clark, “Some Lessons on Faith and Fear, BYU Devotional, May 6, 2008).

When President Hinckley spoke at his wife’s funeral he set an example of choosing faith over fear. He said, “It isn’t as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don’t worry. I say that to myself every morning. It will all work out. . . . Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will not forsake us. He will not forsake us. . . . If we will put our trust in Him, if we will pray to Him, if we will live worthy of His blessings, He will hear our prayers” [Gordon B. Hinckley, quoted in Latter-day Counsel, “Excerpts from Addresses of President Gordon B. Hinckley, ”Ensign, October 2000, 73; see also “Put Your Trust in God, “Ensign, February 2006, 63].

The Lord Thy God is With Thee

With these inspiring words from President Hinckley, it brings us to our third portion of this beloved scripture. The last part of Joshua 1:9 states, “the Lord thy God is with thee” (Joshua 1:9). Our Savior understands everything we have ever, and will ever experience. President Holland said that His journey was the “loneliest journey ever made” (None Were with Him, Jeffrey R. Holland, April 2009). Not only did his disciples slowly diminish in their support, but Elder Holland also said that the “Father briefly withdrew from Jesus the comfort of His personal presence. It was required…For His Atonement to be infinite and eternal, He had to feel what it was like to die not only physically but spiritually, to sense what it was like to have the divine Spirit withdraw, leaving one feeling totally, abjectly, hopelessly alone” (None Were with Him, Jeffrey R. Holland, April 2009). 

President Holland further stated that “one of the great consolations…is that because Jesus walked a long, lonely path utterly alone, we do not have to do so” (None Were with Him, Jeffrey R. Holland, April 2009).

When my brother passed away, I had moments where I felt the Savior’s presence, and moments when I felt completely alone. Right after we found my brother’s body, my entire family felt a great peace and reassurance. We knew that a greater force was with us during that time. However, as the time drew closer for the viewing, that feeling of peace began to dissipate for me. At one point during the viewing, my father asked me to go and seek peace as I was unable to control my tears. I don’t remember where I went in the funeral home, or much about what happened surrounding my prayer, but I do remember reading in Matthew 11: 28-30. It reads, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your soul. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” As I prayed and read the scriptures, peace began to fill my heart once again. I named this scripture my “Eric Peace Scripture”, and every time I had a moment of struggle, I would again turn to this scripture and remind myself to seek the Savior.

I bear testimony that as we choose daily to be courageous through building our testimony, as we choose faith over fear, and as we choose to seek the Savior, we will be guided in our lives, and we will someday stand before our Savior with a clear conscience—not longing for a “redo”, and we will be on the pathway to eternal life. The Lord’s command to have courage, not be fearful, and His reminder that He will be with us—is for you and me!

I know that this Gospel is true. I know that when we live by its teachings, we are blessed. I know it, because I have lived it, and I witness it in my daily life.