Today I had the opportunity of speaking at my brother's funeral. I am grateful for the life he lived, for the person he was, for the example he set. I am saddened that today meant good-bye. My heart longs for a redo, but I know it isn't meant to be. Through this experience I am learning more and more about the qualities I want to develop in my life.
1. My little brother loved everyone. No judgement whatsoever.
I want to be like him.
2. I have now lost 2 siblings prematurely. I thought I had learned what it meant to cherish each day when my older brother, Eric, died, but I don't think I learned this lesson fully. I think I need to love more deeply--not only those around me, but my family. I need to make a conscious effort to do all I can for the people I love the most. I think it can be easy to simply go through the motions of life, and forget to make time for those who matter most. Perhaps, it is easy to forget, because we live so far away--it is my goal to not let distance create distance.
3. I've learned that we mus keep an eternal perspective in life. When we think in life as the here and now, it is easy to lose hope; however, as we look to what the plan of salvation truly means--peace can be obtained.
Still pondering more lessons. I am sure there will be more by tomorrow...
I am simply grateful for my family. I love them with all of my heart. I miss Brandon like crazy, and missing Brandon is bringing my missing for Eric back to the surface...
This is definitely a difficult time; however, I know God is with me. I know he will carry us.
When I gave my talk today to celebrate Brandon's life, I felt His sustaining power. I felt assured that he loved me, and I knew that through the atonement I was strengthened. I am so grateful.
After the funeral we had the opportunity of sifting through Brandon's clothes. This was so difficult. My whole heart just wants him back with us. I just want to wake up. I just want him to be here with me tomorrow.
I want to see him again. I want to hug him one last time. I want to tell him everything that I now know now that he is gone--I wish I had that kind of insight.
Brandon was my friend, and my brother. I can hardly breathe when I think of a life without him in it.
No comments:
Post a Comment