Sometimes I find myself using Siri (a helpful app on an iphone) to help me in easy tasks. I use Siri to 'voice' text messages, GPS purposes, and for calling quite often. The other day I found myself asking Siri to call Bryan. Siri responded by saying, "Which number for Brandon would you like me to call?" Hearing Brandon's name brought a surge of emotion to the surface. I cried as I thought how I would never call Brandon again. It is in these moments when missing Brandon is difficult. I remember having moments like these after Eric passed away too.
A few days after this experience, I reflected on "accidentally" calling Brandon, and I wondered if I could still hear his voice if I did call him. With that thought, I purposefully dialed Brandon's number hoping to hear his voice on the other end of the phone call. When a voice did respond, it wasn't Brandon's, but rather a recording of a number being disconnected.
Life keeps moving. Each day is one day further from the day I lost my little brother in this life. Somehow I still want time to freeze, so portions of Brandon's memory can remain. I wanted to hear his voice on the other end of the line. When I didn't hear his voice, reality caused a bit of pain. And although my heart still longs for the impossible, I know in my heart that his memory will live forever.
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