Modesty Fireside

THE WHY of MODESTY

When my oldest daughter went to first grade, I remember feeling sad. All of a sudden my daughter’s greatest influence had changed from me—to her teacher. How could I possibly trust someone I had never met to take care of my little girl? I struggled with this transition—I struggled more than I would like to admit. Through many heart-felt prayers, I felt impressed to start a tradition with my precious daughter—a tradition that is still alive and well to this day. Every morning I ask her: “Who are you?” To which she answers: “I am a daughter of God.”

Each and every one of us is a precious daughter of our Heavenly Father. Every Sunday—you—young women stand and proclaim, “We are daughter’s of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love Him.” Elder Holland said, “You are literally a spirit daughter of heavenly parents with a divine nature and an eternal destiny.  That surpassing truth should be fixed deep in your soul and be fundamental to every decision you make as you grow into mature womanhood” (Jeffrey R. Holland, “To Young Women”, October 2005 General Conference).  

In our day it is difficult to remember our worth. We are “bombarded in movies, television, fashion magazines, and advertisements with the message that looks are everything! The pitch is, ‘If your looks are good enough, your life will be glamorous and you will be happy and popular” (Jeffrey R. Holland, “To Young Women”, October 2005 General Conference).  It can be easy to forget who we are. In the Book of Mormon there are numerous examples of prophets who understood their worth, and they knew for what they stood. I love the example of Moroni, when he said, “They put to death every Nephite that will not deny the Christ, and I, Moroni, will not deny the Christ” (Mor. 1:1), he knew his divinity and he had power to withstand. Nephi also knew of his worth when he proclaimed, “I, Nephi having been born of goodly parents” (1 Ne. 1:1), as well as Mormon when he said, “I am a disciple of Jesus Christ—the son of God” (3 Ne. 5:13). What about the Stripling Warriors when it was written that “they had been taught by their mother’s, if they did not doubt—God would deliver them?” (Alma 55:47). Can you imagine their strength of character—their resolve to do the Lord’s will no matter the cost? These examples demonstrate the power that comes from knowing and understanding our divinity. By understanding our worth, we can be given the power from on high to withstand the temptations of this world, and to rise above the messages of glamour bombarding us on every side.

Elder Holland reminds us of this truth when he spoke on the power of dressing modestly. He said, “I plead with you young women to please be more accepting of yourselves, including your body shape and style, with a little less longing to look like someone else. We are all different. Some are tall, and some are short. Some are round, and some are thin. And almost everyone at some time or other wants to be something they are not! But as one adviser to teenage girls said: “You can’t live your life worrying that the world is staring at you. When you let people’s opinions make you self-conscious you give away your power. … The key to feeling [confident] is to always listen to your inner self—[the real you.]”  And in the kingdom of God, the real you is “more precious than rubies” (Jeffrey R. Holland, “To Young Women”, October 2005 General Conference).  

When we seek the approval of others, we lose sight of our inner self. We all have an “inner self” that guides us and directs us. Recently, my daughter was practicing her piano, when she kept stopping to pull on her shirt. From my perspective, her shirt looked fine; however, it was obvious that my daughter was uncomfortable. She was so distracted by her shirt that she finally decided to change her shirt entirely. After my daughter changed, I was grateful she listened to her inner spirit. When we listen to that inner self—we are confident. If there is any questions as to whether or not something is modest—the easiest solution is to simply not wear it! When we dress modestly, what our Father in Heaven thinks becomes more important than what the world thinks. In the For Strength of Youth it states, “Through your dress and appearance, you can show that you know how precious your body is. You can show that you are a disciple of Jesus Christ and that you love Him”. It further states that “when you are well groomed and modestly dressed you, you invite the companionship of the Spirit and you can be a good influence on others. Your dress and grooming influence the way you and others act.”

When I was a young woman, I learned firsthand how my dress could influence others for good and invite the companionship of the Spirit. As a junior in High School, I competed in the Junior Miss Pageant. It was an expectation in my family that I would participate; however, in order to participate, a contestant needed to be able to perform a talent on stage. I felt that I was talented on the basketball court, but I wasn't sure how to demonstrate that talent in a pageant setting—I felt much like a fish out of water. After much consideration, a friend and I choreographed a clogging routine to the song “Great Balls of Fire”. My clogging experience was minimal, but due to a talented, patient friend—I was able to pull it off. Once my talent was underway, my mother and I went shopping to prepare for the evening gown competition. As we shopped, we gave only one criterion to each salesclerk—it had to be modest. It never occurred to me that this decision would make any sort of impact on someone else; however, after the pageant, I received a letter that said:

 “Dear Carrie, I just had to drop you a note to tell you how proud I was of you at the pageant last night. You were so beautiful and radiated that same spirit that you have inside you! You were truly an example of your young woman medallion. You chose to be modest in your dress when many other LDS girls didn't...thank you for being an example.”

When I chose my attire for that evening, I had no idea that anyone else would notice my dress. I had no idea that I was setting an example. I had no idea that I radiated the spirit through my dress.

President Harold B. Lee said, “Do not underestimate the important symbolic and actual effect of appearance. Persons who are well groomed and modestly dressed invite the companionship of the Spirit of our Father in Heaven and are able to exercise a wholesome influence upon those around them... Outward appearance is often a reflection of inward tendencies” (The Teachings of Harold B. Lee, ed. Clyde J. Williams [1996], 220).

We are daughters of our Heavenly Father. He does love us! He wants more than anything for us to return to Him someday. In order for us to be worthy of such a gift, we need to act the part. We need to take to heart the examples that are provided us in the scriptures, and do as they did—stand firm in our resolve to choose the right—to keep the commandments of God. We are promised in Mosiah 2:41 that when we keep the commandments of our Heavenly Father, “we are blessed in all things—both temporal and spiritual”.  Elder Holland said, “For you to fully claim Heavenly Father’s blessings and protection, we ask you to stay true to the standards of the gospel of Jesus Christ and not slavishly follow the whims of fads and fashions” (Jeffrey R. Holland, “To Young Women”, October 2005 General Conference).  Dearest Young Women, these promised blessings are yours to be had. I stand tonight and ask you the same question that I ask my daughter, “Who are you?” To which we can all answer, “We are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love Him! Let us stand as witnesses of God. Let us demonstrate our love for our Heavenly Father through our modest attire, and by so doing gaining confidence in the presence of the Lord.

THE KEY TO SPIRITUAL PROTECTION

In our world today, I have often felt worried, and I have desired for a sure way to protect myself and my family from the adversary. Our ultimate goal in this life is to live worthy to receive eternal life.  I love in the Book of Mormon when King Lamoni’s father asked, “What shall I do that I may have this eternal life?” I have often wondered similarly, and questioned—am I doing enough? What more can I do? There have been times when I have lamented to my husband that I wished I had my own personal Liahona. In the Book of Mormon, the Liahona was used by Lehi and his family. It was a brass ball that gave both spiritual counsel and directional instruction. However, the Liahona worked only according to the faith and diligence of Lehi’s family (1 Nephi 16: 28-29). I have told my husband that if I could only look into a ball, and be told exactly what to do, I would then do it. I would follow it exactly. These wistful thoughts were hinged on my desire for protection against the adversary, and my ultimate goal of eternal life. As I have prepared for this talk, I have realized that I do have a Liahona—it is the word of God, or in other words—the scriptures.

Alma 37: 44-45  illustrates how the scriptures are our personal Liahona’s. It states,

44 For behold, it is as easy to give heed to the ^aword of Christ, which will point to you a straight course to eternal bliss, as it was for our fathers to give heed to this compass (the Liahona), which would point unto them a straight course to the promised land.

45 And now I say, is there not a ^atype in this thing? For just as surely as this director did bring our fathers, by following its course, to the promised land, shall the words of Christ, if we follow their course, carry us beyond this vale of sorrow into a far better land of promise.
[italicized added for explanation purposes]

This scripture promises us that if we study the words of Christ, and give heed to those words, we will be guided to eternal life. The prophets through the ages have offered us many promises by simply studying the words of God. I have been astounded at the blessings that the Lord is ready to offer us. By no means am I able to list all of the blessings that we might receive if we study the scriptures, but I would like to share a few to demonstrate just how the scriptures are our personal Liahona’s. Listen to these promises:

President Hinckley promised, “I promise you that as you read, your minds will be enlightened and your spirits will be lifted” (Gordon B. Hinckley, “The Light within You”, May 1995).

In a recent talk given by Elder Packer he said, “Happiness…depends upon living those standards established by the Savior and set forth in His scriptures.” He further stated that “Scriptures hold the keys to spiritual protection” (“The Key to Spiritual Protection”, Boyd K. Packer, General Conference).

President Ezra Taft Benson promised, “When individual families immerse themselves in the scriptures regularly and consistently, other areas of activity will automatically come. Testimonies will increase. Commitment will be strengthened. Families will be fortified. Personal Revelation will flow” (Ezra Taft Benson, “The Power of the Word,” Ensign, May 1986).

Bruce R McConkie promised “an increase of faith and desire to do what’s right…” (Bruce R. McConkie, in Church News, 24 Jan. 1976). Marvin J. Ashton said that the scriptures are “our bulwark of defense against a cunning adversary” (Marvin J. Ashton, in Conference Report, Oct. 1977). L. Tom Perry promised that scripture study will enrich our lives and prepare our families to meet the challenges of today… (L. Tom Perry, in Conference Report, April 1993).

And my personal favorite “promise” of scripture study is found in the Book of Mormon when Nephi said, “whoso would hearken unto the word of God, and would hold fast unto it, they would never perish; neither could the temptations and the fiery darts of the adversary overpower them unto blindness, to lead them away to destruction” (1 Ne. 15:24).

I love that Nephi tells us that as we listen to the “word”, we cannot be overpowered by Satan’s temptations! With temptations surrounding us on every side, this is a huge promise!  This point is illustrated by Lehi’s vision of the tree of life. From that vision we learn that by holding to the rod, which is the word of God, we can traverse through Satan’s temptations, and partake of God’s love or in other words—eternal life. This vision is another example within the scriptures that the “word of God” or “the scriptures” are our personal Liahona’s for true happiness. Sister Cooke, in a recent general conference, spoke to parents’ in their role of holding to the rod. She said, “In today’s world, complete with temptations, holding fast can be challenging. As Satan, in his conniving ways, tries to pull us away from God’s ways—if we have one hand on the rod, and one hand in the world we put our children and youth in danger of losing their way on the path. If our example is confusing than in Jacob’s words—we lose the confidence of our children because of our bad examples. Our message must be clear; clarity can only result from having both hands on the rod, and from living by the truths found in the scriptures and taught by latter-day prophets.”

The scriptures have truly blessed my life, and the lives’ of my family. As we study the scriptures and apply the principles to our lives—we are partaking of the blessings we have been promised. Allow me illustrate by sharing two personal stories from my life.

My first experience is about how the scriptures can bring us peace in times of need.  About three years ago a friend of our family passed away. After his passing, Jacob began asking questions concerning death. After a while those questions turned inward, and he began asking questions concerning his death, and with his questions of death—fear became our companion. Jacob was afraid of dying. As his mother, I felt that we needed to help Jacob face his fears. One of those fears was riding his bike. I felt that the Lord guided me as I took off the training wheels from Jacob’s bike; however, as Jacob cried for his training wheels—I questioned my methods more than once. Slowly our work turned into progress, and Jake began riding his bike; however, he was still consumed by his fear. One morning as we were getting ready to ride bikes, I felt prompted to say a prayer with Jake. We talked about praying for help in riding his bike, and then we prayed for that help. After his prayer, I again felt prompted, and I asked Jake to tell me his favorite scripture. He slowly began reciting Joshua 1:9, “Have I not commanded thee? Be strong and of good courage; be not afraid…” as soon as Jacob said those words, I stopped him and asked him to repeat the last part again. As he slowly said the words, “be not afraid”, understanding seemed to change his countenance. I then asked him to tell me the rest of the scripture, to which we concluded that Heavenly Father would help us in our fears. We set out to ride bikes with a new determination. As we started to ride, Jacob lost his courage, and started to cry out in desperation. It was at this moment that I reminded Jacob of our scripture, “Jake—be not afraid.” Remembrance flickered on his face and he began chanting, “be not afraid, be not afraid, be not afraid” (Joshua 1:9).  Jake’s bike steadied, and ever since that moment, whenever he finds he is nervous—he chants, “be not afraid, be not afraid, be not afraid”. Through this scripture, Jacob became the boy I knew him to be. He believed with all of his heart that God would be with him, because the scripture said He would. Elder Scott said that “scriptures can calm an agitated soul, giving peace, hope and a restoration of confidence in one’s ability to overcome the challenges of life” (The Power of Scripture, Richard G. Scott, General Conference).

My second experience is about how scriptures can bring us closer to our Heavenly Father and His plan for us. I have an elder brother who until just recently has not been interested in many of the lasting joys that accompany membership in our church. However, slowly his disinterest turned to interest, and two years ago my dear brother and his beautiful wife were sealed in the temple with their two children. I can’t begin to express the feelings that accompanied this marvelous event. It truly was a sacred moment in our family. After the sealing, I asked my sister-in-law what it was that made the difference for her and her family. She said that it started with a simple goal—a baby step.  As a family they made a goal to read the Book of Mormon in a year. She said that at times it was difficult. She remembers many mornings when no one wanted to rise for early morning scripture study, but through perseverance day by day this baby step turned into something more than a simple goal. The seed planted by the word of God, began to enlarge their souls, and by the end of the year my brother received the priesthood, and he and his wife were sealed in the temple for time and all eternity. My sister-in-law said that without scripture study, they would not have made their covenants in the temple.

The scriptures are a part of my families’ everyday life. Sometimes they help in big ways like these stories mentioned, but most of the time it’s the fortification that they provide to me and my family on a daily basis. When I don’t read my scriptures, I can feel a difference. I am a better wife and mother when I take the time to read. My niece is serving a mission in Philadelphia when she called home for Christmas she testified of this truth. She said that she knew that as she studied her scriptures with real intent, she could feel the power of the Holy Ghost with her as she taught; however, when she simply read to just read—she could no longer feel that power.

I am amazed at the love of our Heavenly Father. He wants us to succeed. He has provided for us a manual—an instruction book, our own personal Liahona, and it is simply up to us to use it. Elder Eyring has said that, “the only way you can be sure that a busy schedule doesn’t crowd out scripture study is to establish a regular time to study the scriptures” (Eyring, A Discussion on Scripture Study, Ensign 2005). By making an effort to set aside a little of our day in the study of scriptures, we are promised great blessings. In Alma 37:6 it says that “by small and simple things, great things are brought to pass.” It’s a small portion of our time devoted to the Lord, and he rewards us greatly. As we start the New Year, it is my prayer that we will recommit ourselves to the studying of our scriptures, and as we do so—we will be on the pathway to eternal life.

Choosing to Stand

This last year has been a difficult one for Hailey. Hailey had always attended school in the Boise School District; however, we felt impressed this year that Hailey should attend school in her designated school district. Therefore, all of Hailey's closest friends went to West Junior High while she went to Lake Hazel Middle School. She has struggled throughout the year to find friends, and to feel as if she belonged. That is why it was so difficult for Hailey when she was faced with a moral dilemma. Making a choice to stand up for your beliefs in the midst of trying to feel included is always difficult. In Hailey's Life Skills class, her teacher wanted to teach the students about cyber-bullying via a dramatic movie depicting actual "bullying". Just as the teacher was preparing the students to watch the movie, someone leaned over to Hailey and said that she had seen the movie on Netflix, and that it was rated PG-13. In our home, we choose to wait until we are at least 13 to watch a PG-13 movie, and even when a child turns 13, we are still selective as to what they will watch as Bryan and I are also selective in our viewings. Hailey is only 12, so to watch a PG-13 movie would have been against our rules. And so, Hailey was faced with a choice—would she watch it, or not? With pounding heart, a bit of dread, and a silent prayer, Hailey shot her hand in the air determined to not watch the movie. She explained to her teacher her standards, and asked if there was something else that she could do. The teacher insisted that the movie wasn't rated on YouTube, and that it was completely appropriate for Hailey to view, and further stated that she wouldn't ask Hailey to watch something that was inappropriate. With determination, Hailey again asked if there was something else she could do? The teacher was a bit annoyed as she excused Hailey into a different classroom to read a book. When Hailey stood to leave, she noticed the looks on her classmates’ faces—some looked at her with disgust, others with surprise, and still others with a mixture of “weird and psycho”. A bit embarrassed Hailey excused herself, and then began counting the minutes until Life Skills would be over. That night Hailey came home to tell me of her courage. As she told her story, tears rolled down her cheeks—she so desperately wanted friends, but she also wanted to choose the right. As her mom, I was surprised to hear that a teacher at the school would be showing a PG-13 movie. My initial thought was that perhaps Hailey’s friend was wrong when she told Hailey the rating. After expressing gratitude to Hailey for choosing to stand, I began researching the movie online. On YouTube the movie was indeed not rated—for all movies on YouTube are not rated; however, on Commonsense Media, the movie was rated PG-13 with a suggested age of 14. It took a lot of courage for Hailey to choose to stand for her morals.

This experience reminds me of a talk given by President Monson entitled, “Dare to Stand Alone”. In that talk he said, “As we go about living from day to day, it is almost inevitable that our faith will be challenged. We may at times find ourselves surrounded by others and yet standing in the minority or even standing alone concerning what is acceptable and what is not. Do we have the moral courage to stand firm for our beliefs, even if by so doing we must stand alone?”  (Thomas S. Monson, “Dare to Stand Alone, October 2011).

In Primary we learn song that goes like this:
I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
I know who I am.
I know God’s plan.
I’ll follow Him in faith.
As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we take Christ’s name upon us. At baptism, we covenant to enter into His Kingdom, and we choose to follow His path. As members, whatever we do—it reflects on His name. Will we have the courage to stand when it means will be standing alone? When we are in that moment of decision, what will we do with His name?

Each and every one of us have had those “moments” in our lives—those moments of decision.  In a world where holiness is mocked, I have often reflected on the “how” of standing. And as I have pondered, my thoughts keep returning to “obedience”. The “how” of standing happens when we choose to be obedient. When we choose to read our scriptures and apply them to our lives, when we choose to follow the FOR THE STRENGTH OF YOUTH…ultimately when we choose to keep the commandments despite the difficulties, and no matter the consequences. If I may I would like to illustrate with a personal experience from my own life. When I was in Junior High, I was asked to speak out against a young man who I had witnessed breaking the rules. I wasn’t alone in my decision to take a stand. Five of my girlfriends joined me as we met with the principal, and conveyed the experience. To our surprise, our testimonies against this young man were the cause of his expulsion from school. In an effort to protect us from social ridicule, our principal gave us an alibi. He placed us all in detention, and we were told to say that we had been caught sloughing, so as to hide from our peers our reason for not being in class. I remember feeling that I had made the right choice to speak out; however, I didn't feel at peace with the alibi given to me by the principal. In fact, as I started relaying the alibi to my peers—no one believed me. I had never sloughed before, and because of the way I conducted myself on a regular basis—no one seemed to believe our story. That night, with a heavy heart, I explained my situation to my father, and he counseled me to do a hard thing. He told me that it was right to take a stand, but just because I had done one right—didn't make it okay to cover it up with a wrong. Lying was still lying. He counseled me to pray about my decision, but he felt that I should be honest with my peers, and stand behind my original decision to take a stand. Telling the truth not only perjured myself, but all of the other girls who had also taken a stand—our alibi would no longer be an alibi. The next morning I apologized to each of them, and explained what I was about to do. Some of them begged me to change my mind, but I could not be swayed—I was resolute in my determination to do what was right. The months that followed were difficult ones for me. My family received phone calls in the middle of the night with threats, and profanity. I was talked about openly—even so I could hear the conversations in hallways and in the locker room. My peers would turn their back on me in the hall, and at times I felt as if I had some sort of disease. Ultimately, I felt very much alone. Even my best friend was angry with me. However, despite the challenges--the peace that I felt made it worth the trial. I knew that I had made the right choice, and I truly felt that Heavenly Father was with me. This experience solidified my heart and sealed my testimony of the power of obedience. I became something more. My classmates knew it—I knew it. After the anger and frustration had worn off, my peers treated me with a new level of respect. More important than their respect—however, was my new determination to be obedient—always—no matter the cost. Mosiah 2:41 states, “And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness” (Mosiah 2: 41). When we choose to keep the commandments, when we choose to stand on the Lord’s side, when we choose to stand in Holy Places—we are blessed and we set ourselves on the pathway of becoming all that our Father intended of us. We are molding and shaping our lives. Sister Dalton said, "Take a few minutes to envision where you want to be in one year or two or five. Then take action to prepare yourselves. People don't just run a marathon when they decide to do it. They must train daily, slowly building stamina and endurance to run the 26.2-mile distance. So it is with life. It is daily diligence…that will help you reach your goals. Your daily decisions will influence generations" (Elaine S. Dalton, "Press Forward and Be Steadfast," Ensign, May 2003, p.105).

As we choose daily to follow the Lord’s way, we choose to put His name upon us, we choose true happiness, and the pathway to eternal life.

Writing a Book

I keep thinking of Noah’s example when he was asked to build an ark—his example to “do” whatever the Lord asked. It took Noah 120 years to build an ark. In that time, he was mocked and ridiculed. I have wondered if he ever questioned his building the ark, if he ever thought: Who am I to build an ark?... Am I truly hearing the Lord? ...There is no water? However, the scriptures do not say that Noah questioned. The scriptures paint a different picture. The scriptures teach that Noah didn't doubt his faith, but followed the will of the Lord to the best of his ability. Not only that--but that he directly guided by the Lord on exactly how to accomplish his task of building an ark. I keep thinking of Noah, and I can't help but relate his experiences to our day. No matter our journey, there will be hardships along the way. I am sure Noah’s hardships felt insurmountable; however, it didn't deter him from doing what the Lord asked.

I have been feeling for quite some time that I need to be writing a book. I fight a constant battle within myself. Things like: Who am I to write a book?... What do I have to say that will be beneficial to other’s?... I don’t even know where to begin? …and it continues. However, I can’t deny that the impressions that have come over and over again. In an effort to be like Noah, I am beginning my journey of writing. And like Noah didn't know how to build an ark--I too, don't know how to write a book; however, I do have faith. I believe that if the Lord can teach Noah how to build an ark, then maybe he can teach me how to write a book.

I'm really not sure what my book will be about. Ever since I can remember I have yearned to “become” all that my Heavenly Father wants me to become. Perhaps, this is a process in that becoming. Perhaps, that will be theme of my book. I don’t see myself as “having arrived”. I haven’t. Nowhere close. However, I do seek Him with all of my heart, and perhaps that is what I need to be sharing—my experiences of “becoming” of “seeking my Father”. I have so much more to learn that I feel somewhat inadequate; however, I am praying to simply be an instrument. I will write what I am prompted.  Whatever I am meant to share, I hope it will help others’ in their journey of life.

The decision to write a book didn't happen in a moment. It was little promptings over a long period of time that finally brought me to my knees seeking to know if this was His direction for me. At one point in time, I was pondering and praying about the possibility of writing a book when my neighbor came over to tell me that she was moved by what I had written in my blog, and that she thought I should write a book. She had no idea that I had been praying about the possibility of writing a book—I hadn't told anyone. As she verbalized her thoughts to me, I felt it was an answer to my prayer that I couldn't deny. There were other things leading to this decision as well. Most of them small and simple—little promptings, or thoughts—conversations, and experiences—all of them leading to this end result of writing a book. My writings may not be connected in the beginning. For now…I’m just going to write what I feel. 

In A Moment

Sometimes in life little circumstances occur that enlighten our understanding and teach us lessons. This week I've been working on organizing my pictures, and writing our family story. I noticed that my computer somehow had saved two sets of pictures. Two sets for every picture I had ever taken all the way back to 2001. I spent 5 hours organizing one set of pictures, and then when I was completely finished with my organization, I decided to delete the extra picture folder. I checked and double checked, and then pushed delete. Within seconds my picture folder was wiped clean. Not just one folder, but both folders. I hadn't realized that the picture folders were within the same folder, so rather than deleting the extra folder, I somehow deleted all of my pictures. Thankfully, my pictures were not lost forever—they were saved on my external hard drive; however, the time I had just spent into organizing my pictures was lost. In one second I was able to delete hours of work that would take me hours to rebuild. In fact, I spent the following day rebuilding my organization and ten hours later—I was still not finished.  As I thought about this scenario, I made a parallel to our lives. Many of our bad decisions in life can be done in a moment; however, the process of repenting isn't always so easy.  In 3 Nephi 18:15 it says, “Verily, verily, I say unto you, ye must watch and pray always lest ye be tempted by the devil, and be led away captive by him.” I truly believe that we are in a war with Satan. He is good at what he does. If we are not actively working at choosing the right, and seeking Heavenly Father, then I think those moments of "bad decision making" can catch us off guard. My husband has often said to my children, “Don’t trade what you want most, for what you want right now”. Our ultimate goal is eternal life; however, it is easy to lose sight of this goal in the midst of our day to day struggles. Thankfully, the Savior has died for us, and has made a way for us to return from our moments of bad decision making. The small moments, and the big moments—for we all need the Savior. We are not meant to be perfect—not yet anyway.  But each of us can choose whether or not we trade our ultimate happiness for a moment of what we think to be happiness. I have moments every day in which I need the atonement of the Savior. I am truly grateful that He has provided a way for me to repent.

Scripture Study

I was touched while reading,  Helaman 10:4 when it said, "Blessed art thou, Nephi, for those things which thou hast done; for I have beheld how thou hast with unwearyingness declared the word, which I have given unto thee, unto this people. And thou hast not sought thine own life, but hast sought my will, and to keep my commandments." I like how it says, "thou hast not sought thine own life, but hast sought my will". Isn't that the challenge of this life? To conform our will's to the Lord's will isn't always a black and white scenario. Sometimes, as we venture through life, we act in ways that are in accordance to what we think, what we want--without even realizing that our will is in the driver's seat.
Recently, I have been struggling with one of my church meetings. It seems that every time I comment, another sister will comment on the reverse opinion. Which, to be honest, has great validity as well, and needs to be taken into account. My concern is that the feeling of the meetings seem to be pointing to God having no expectation of us, which I know that many of my Christian friends believe; however, my religion doesn't believe that. We believe that Christ has suffered for our sins, and he will cleanse us from our sins--after we have done all that we can do. In the Bible it states that, "faith without works is dead". I believe that. We have to be willing to do our part in order to qualify ourselves for the atoning sacrifice of our Savior. With that being said, we also deny our Savior when we attempt to beat ourselves up, and put ourselves down for whatever we lack. When we turn to the Savior, in whatever struggle we find ourselves, we are using the atonement. It is that act of turning to the Savior that matters. However, when we choose to use means to "justify" our actions, we are not turning to our Savior.
The Savior once asked His disciples, "What shall a man give in exchange for his soul?" (Matthew 16:26) In a conference talk by Robert C. Gay, he said, "This is the exchange the Savior is asking of us; we are to give up all our sins, big or small, for the Father's reward of eternal life. We are to forget self-justifying stories, excuses, rationalizations, defense mechanisms, procrastinations, appearances, personal pride, judgmental thoughts, and doing things our way. We are to separate ourselves from all worldliness and take upon us the image of God in our countenances" (What Shall a Man Give in Exchange for His Soul?, Elder Robert C. Gay, October 2012 General Conference).
This is not to say that we need to beat ourselves up, or feel that we are unworthy--again, that would be denying the Savior's atonement as well. Elder Utchdorf said, "I want to tell you something that I hope you will take in the right way: God is fully aware that you and I are not perfect. Let me add: God is also fully aware that the people you think are perfect are not" (Forget Me Not, Dieter F. Utchdorf, November 2011 Ensign). Heavenly Father does not expect perfection from us. He expects that we will continually turn our hearts to Him, and seek to do His will. He expects us to work towards becoming perfect, but none of us will become perfected without the Savior--this is not a goal we can obtain on our own, nor is it something that will happen in this life. However, we can't "justify" away our actions because we are not expected to be perfect. We must persevere.
Perhaps that is why I felt so inspired by Nephi. I was touched by his "unwearyingness" to preach the Gospel, and to perservere. I've been tempted to volunteer in other capacities, so as to not have to attend that meeting. I had almost convinced myself that it was okay to "not testify", but to rather "allow them their opinion"; however, I don't think that is what the Savior would have me do. I think He would ask me to proclaim my feelings--even when I am being refuted every time I open my mouth. I am inspired by the words of Nephi. It gives me courage to be what the Lord wants me to be.

Redo

A few months ago, my mother-in-law entrusted my husband and I with her most prized possession—a necklace made from her mother’s wedding ring. She had left it at the cabin, and asked that we deliver it to her. Knowing how important this item was to my mother-in-law, my husband and I discussed ways in keeping it safe, and then followed through with a plan. However, when it came time to deliver the necklace to my mother-in-law, the necklace was no longer where it had been placed for safe keeping. This realization ensued several weeks of searching and praying for the lost heirloom. Throughout this time of prayer and contemplation, my soul longed for a “redo”. My mind was relentless with the “if only’s”, and the “should of’s”. I couldn’t help but think of the several different ways in which I could have done, or what I should have done. As I longed for a “redo”, I was taught a lesson. I’m not sure if it was a dream, or exactly how this experience occurred, but in my mind I saw myself standing in front of my Savior after I had completed my time here on Earth. As I stood, my mind wondered—will I want a “redo”, or will I have done all that I could? This was the first lesson. I spent a week reflecting on my life—evaluating whether or not I was doing all that I could or should be doing. Not to the point of beating myself up—I didn’t think that was the lesson. I simply searched and evaluated who I was, and what I was doing. When President Hinckley was alive, he often said, “Try a little harder to be a little better” (We Have Work to Do, Gordon B. Hinckley, April 1995). He promised us that “We can do it, if we will be prayerful and faithful. We can do better than we have ever done before” (We Have Work to Do, Gordon B. Hinckley, April 1995). This was the lesson I was learning. The lesson of perseverance and determination to do all that my Father has asked. The second lesson came when I was talking to a friend about my desire for a “redo”. As I was describing this experience, she reminded me that we do get a “redo”—every day we can have a “redo”—if we choose to use the Savior’s atonement.  In 2 Nephi 10:23 it reads, “Therefore, cheer up your hearts, and remember that ye are free to act for yourselves—to choose the way of everlasting death or the way of eternal life.” I love this scripture. Through our agency, we can choose the way of eternal life. We will absolutely have struggles, trials, and once in a while we will also sin. But, through our agency we can choose to start again; we can choose to put into action the most blessed gift of the atonement; we can choose a “redo”. So, let us begin today. Let us “try a little harder to be a little better”, and as we use the atonement, we will be prepared to meet our Savior already having accomplished that much desired “redo”, and we will be welcomed into his loving arms.