Modesty Fireside

THE WHY of MODESTY

When my oldest daughter went to first grade, I remember feeling sad. All of a sudden my daughter’s greatest influence had changed from me—to her teacher. How could I possibly trust someone I had never met to take care of my little girl? I struggled with this transition—I struggled more than I would like to admit. Through many heart-felt prayers, I felt impressed to start a tradition with my precious daughter—a tradition that is still alive and well to this day. Every morning I ask her: “Who are you?” To which she answers: “I am a daughter of God.”

Each and every one of us is a precious daughter of our Heavenly Father. Every Sunday—you—young women stand and proclaim, “We are daughter’s of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love Him.” Elder Holland said, “You are literally a spirit daughter of heavenly parents with a divine nature and an eternal destiny.  That surpassing truth should be fixed deep in your soul and be fundamental to every decision you make as you grow into mature womanhood” (Jeffrey R. Holland, “To Young Women”, October 2005 General Conference).  

In our day it is difficult to remember our worth. We are “bombarded in movies, television, fashion magazines, and advertisements with the message that looks are everything! The pitch is, ‘If your looks are good enough, your life will be glamorous and you will be happy and popular” (Jeffrey R. Holland, “To Young Women”, October 2005 General Conference).  It can be easy to forget who we are. In the Book of Mormon there are numerous examples of prophets who understood their worth, and they knew for what they stood. I love the example of Moroni, when he said, “They put to death every Nephite that will not deny the Christ, and I, Moroni, will not deny the Christ” (Mor. 1:1), he knew his divinity and he had power to withstand. Nephi also knew of his worth when he proclaimed, “I, Nephi having been born of goodly parents” (1 Ne. 1:1), as well as Mormon when he said, “I am a disciple of Jesus Christ—the son of God” (3 Ne. 5:13). What about the Stripling Warriors when it was written that “they had been taught by their mother’s, if they did not doubt—God would deliver them?” (Alma 55:47). Can you imagine their strength of character—their resolve to do the Lord’s will no matter the cost? These examples demonstrate the power that comes from knowing and understanding our divinity. By understanding our worth, we can be given the power from on high to withstand the temptations of this world, and to rise above the messages of glamour bombarding us on every side.

Elder Holland reminds us of this truth when he spoke on the power of dressing modestly. He said, “I plead with you young women to please be more accepting of yourselves, including your body shape and style, with a little less longing to look like someone else. We are all different. Some are tall, and some are short. Some are round, and some are thin. And almost everyone at some time or other wants to be something they are not! But as one adviser to teenage girls said: “You can’t live your life worrying that the world is staring at you. When you let people’s opinions make you self-conscious you give away your power. … The key to feeling [confident] is to always listen to your inner self—[the real you.]”  And in the kingdom of God, the real you is “more precious than rubies” (Jeffrey R. Holland, “To Young Women”, October 2005 General Conference).  

When we seek the approval of others, we lose sight of our inner self. We all have an “inner self” that guides us and directs us. Recently, my daughter was practicing her piano, when she kept stopping to pull on her shirt. From my perspective, her shirt looked fine; however, it was obvious that my daughter was uncomfortable. She was so distracted by her shirt that she finally decided to change her shirt entirely. After my daughter changed, I was grateful she listened to her inner spirit. When we listen to that inner self—we are confident. If there is any questions as to whether or not something is modest—the easiest solution is to simply not wear it! When we dress modestly, what our Father in Heaven thinks becomes more important than what the world thinks. In the For Strength of Youth it states, “Through your dress and appearance, you can show that you know how precious your body is. You can show that you are a disciple of Jesus Christ and that you love Him”. It further states that “when you are well groomed and modestly dressed you, you invite the companionship of the Spirit and you can be a good influence on others. Your dress and grooming influence the way you and others act.”

When I was a young woman, I learned firsthand how my dress could influence others for good and invite the companionship of the Spirit. As a junior in High School, I competed in the Junior Miss Pageant. It was an expectation in my family that I would participate; however, in order to participate, a contestant needed to be able to perform a talent on stage. I felt that I was talented on the basketball court, but I wasn't sure how to demonstrate that talent in a pageant setting—I felt much like a fish out of water. After much consideration, a friend and I choreographed a clogging routine to the song “Great Balls of Fire”. My clogging experience was minimal, but due to a talented, patient friend—I was able to pull it off. Once my talent was underway, my mother and I went shopping to prepare for the evening gown competition. As we shopped, we gave only one criterion to each salesclerk—it had to be modest. It never occurred to me that this decision would make any sort of impact on someone else; however, after the pageant, I received a letter that said:

 “Dear Carrie, I just had to drop you a note to tell you how proud I was of you at the pageant last night. You were so beautiful and radiated that same spirit that you have inside you! You were truly an example of your young woman medallion. You chose to be modest in your dress when many other LDS girls didn't...thank you for being an example.”

When I chose my attire for that evening, I had no idea that anyone else would notice my dress. I had no idea that I was setting an example. I had no idea that I radiated the spirit through my dress.

President Harold B. Lee said, “Do not underestimate the important symbolic and actual effect of appearance. Persons who are well groomed and modestly dressed invite the companionship of the Spirit of our Father in Heaven and are able to exercise a wholesome influence upon those around them... Outward appearance is often a reflection of inward tendencies” (The Teachings of Harold B. Lee, ed. Clyde J. Williams [1996], 220).

We are daughters of our Heavenly Father. He does love us! He wants more than anything for us to return to Him someday. In order for us to be worthy of such a gift, we need to act the part. We need to take to heart the examples that are provided us in the scriptures, and do as they did—stand firm in our resolve to choose the right—to keep the commandments of God. We are promised in Mosiah 2:41 that when we keep the commandments of our Heavenly Father, “we are blessed in all things—both temporal and spiritual”.  Elder Holland said, “For you to fully claim Heavenly Father’s blessings and protection, we ask you to stay true to the standards of the gospel of Jesus Christ and not slavishly follow the whims of fads and fashions” (Jeffrey R. Holland, “To Young Women”, October 2005 General Conference).  Dearest Young Women, these promised blessings are yours to be had. I stand tonight and ask you the same question that I ask my daughter, “Who are you?” To which we can all answer, “We are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love Him! Let us stand as witnesses of God. Let us demonstrate our love for our Heavenly Father through our modest attire, and by so doing gaining confidence in the presence of the Lord.