Choosing to Stand

This last year has been a difficult one for Hailey. Hailey had always attended school in the Boise School District; however, we felt impressed this year that Hailey should attend school in her designated school district. Therefore, all of Hailey's closest friends went to West Junior High while she went to Lake Hazel Middle School. She has struggled throughout the year to find friends, and to feel as if she belonged. That is why it was so difficult for Hailey when she was faced with a moral dilemma. Making a choice to stand up for your beliefs in the midst of trying to feel included is always difficult. In Hailey's Life Skills class, her teacher wanted to teach the students about cyber-bullying via a dramatic movie depicting actual "bullying". Just as the teacher was preparing the students to watch the movie, someone leaned over to Hailey and said that she had seen the movie on Netflix, and that it was rated PG-13. In our home, we choose to wait until we are at least 13 to watch a PG-13 movie, and even when a child turns 13, we are still selective as to what they will watch as Bryan and I are also selective in our viewings. Hailey is only 12, so to watch a PG-13 movie would have been against our rules. And so, Hailey was faced with a choice—would she watch it, or not? With pounding heart, a bit of dread, and a silent prayer, Hailey shot her hand in the air determined to not watch the movie. She explained to her teacher her standards, and asked if there was something else that she could do. The teacher insisted that the movie wasn't rated on YouTube, and that it was completely appropriate for Hailey to view, and further stated that she wouldn't ask Hailey to watch something that was inappropriate. With determination, Hailey again asked if there was something else she could do? The teacher was a bit annoyed as she excused Hailey into a different classroom to read a book. When Hailey stood to leave, she noticed the looks on her classmates’ faces—some looked at her with disgust, others with surprise, and still others with a mixture of “weird and psycho”. A bit embarrassed Hailey excused herself, and then began counting the minutes until Life Skills would be over. That night Hailey came home to tell me of her courage. As she told her story, tears rolled down her cheeks—she so desperately wanted friends, but she also wanted to choose the right. As her mom, I was surprised to hear that a teacher at the school would be showing a PG-13 movie. My initial thought was that perhaps Hailey’s friend was wrong when she told Hailey the rating. After expressing gratitude to Hailey for choosing to stand, I began researching the movie online. On YouTube the movie was indeed not rated—for all movies on YouTube are not rated; however, on Commonsense Media, the movie was rated PG-13 with a suggested age of 14. It took a lot of courage for Hailey to choose to stand for her morals.

This experience reminds me of a talk given by President Monson entitled, “Dare to Stand Alone”. In that talk he said, “As we go about living from day to day, it is almost inevitable that our faith will be challenged. We may at times find ourselves surrounded by others and yet standing in the minority or even standing alone concerning what is acceptable and what is not. Do we have the moral courage to stand firm for our beliefs, even if by so doing we must stand alone?”  (Thomas S. Monson, “Dare to Stand Alone, October 2011).

In Primary we learn song that goes like this:
I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
I know who I am.
I know God’s plan.
I’ll follow Him in faith.
As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we take Christ’s name upon us. At baptism, we covenant to enter into His Kingdom, and we choose to follow His path. As members, whatever we do—it reflects on His name. Will we have the courage to stand when it means will be standing alone? When we are in that moment of decision, what will we do with His name?

Each and every one of us have had those “moments” in our lives—those moments of decision.  In a world where holiness is mocked, I have often reflected on the “how” of standing. And as I have pondered, my thoughts keep returning to “obedience”. The “how” of standing happens when we choose to be obedient. When we choose to read our scriptures and apply them to our lives, when we choose to follow the FOR THE STRENGTH OF YOUTH…ultimately when we choose to keep the commandments despite the difficulties, and no matter the consequences. If I may I would like to illustrate with a personal experience from my own life. When I was in Junior High, I was asked to speak out against a young man who I had witnessed breaking the rules. I wasn’t alone in my decision to take a stand. Five of my girlfriends joined me as we met with the principal, and conveyed the experience. To our surprise, our testimonies against this young man were the cause of his expulsion from school. In an effort to protect us from social ridicule, our principal gave us an alibi. He placed us all in detention, and we were told to say that we had been caught sloughing, so as to hide from our peers our reason for not being in class. I remember feeling that I had made the right choice to speak out; however, I didn't feel at peace with the alibi given to me by the principal. In fact, as I started relaying the alibi to my peers—no one believed me. I had never sloughed before, and because of the way I conducted myself on a regular basis—no one seemed to believe our story. That night, with a heavy heart, I explained my situation to my father, and he counseled me to do a hard thing. He told me that it was right to take a stand, but just because I had done one right—didn't make it okay to cover it up with a wrong. Lying was still lying. He counseled me to pray about my decision, but he felt that I should be honest with my peers, and stand behind my original decision to take a stand. Telling the truth not only perjured myself, but all of the other girls who had also taken a stand—our alibi would no longer be an alibi. The next morning I apologized to each of them, and explained what I was about to do. Some of them begged me to change my mind, but I could not be swayed—I was resolute in my determination to do what was right. The months that followed were difficult ones for me. My family received phone calls in the middle of the night with threats, and profanity. I was talked about openly—even so I could hear the conversations in hallways and in the locker room. My peers would turn their back on me in the hall, and at times I felt as if I had some sort of disease. Ultimately, I felt very much alone. Even my best friend was angry with me. However, despite the challenges--the peace that I felt made it worth the trial. I knew that I had made the right choice, and I truly felt that Heavenly Father was with me. This experience solidified my heart and sealed my testimony of the power of obedience. I became something more. My classmates knew it—I knew it. After the anger and frustration had worn off, my peers treated me with a new level of respect. More important than their respect—however, was my new determination to be obedient—always—no matter the cost. Mosiah 2:41 states, “And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness” (Mosiah 2: 41). When we choose to keep the commandments, when we choose to stand on the Lord’s side, when we choose to stand in Holy Places—we are blessed and we set ourselves on the pathway of becoming all that our Father intended of us. We are molding and shaping our lives. Sister Dalton said, "Take a few minutes to envision where you want to be in one year or two or five. Then take action to prepare yourselves. People don't just run a marathon when they decide to do it. They must train daily, slowly building stamina and endurance to run the 26.2-mile distance. So it is with life. It is daily diligence…that will help you reach your goals. Your daily decisions will influence generations" (Elaine S. Dalton, "Press Forward and Be Steadfast," Ensign, May 2003, p.105).

As we choose daily to follow the Lord’s way, we choose to put His name upon us, we choose true happiness, and the pathway to eternal life.