Compassion

OUR BAPTISMAL COVENANTS & COMPASSION

A friend of mine is teaching a lesson in a few weeks, and felt impressed to ask me my thoughts on compassion. This is what I wrote:

When I think about compassion, I think of the Savior's love. When we have compassion, we care about someone else the way the Savior would. We put aside our selfishness, and we open our hearts to love someone else. I wish I had a fantastic story about how compassion has changed my life. I am positive it has. I just haven't taken note of it as I should. This past year, I have often prayed for a teacher to have compassion on my son. I keep thinking that if someone would only care enough...then it would make all the difference. You see--Jake struggles in school. He doesn't struggle enough where there needs to be some big intervention--he just struggles in little ways. Those little ways are slowly pushing him further and further behind. I have often prayed for a teacher that would care enough to love my son. I am grateful for this perspective because I think it reminds me to care "enough" about those around me. It is a reminder to me to love. 

I'm reminded of compassion when I think of Hailey's soccer team this year:

There have been a lot of life lessons this year with soccer. Bryan decided to coach this year, so this group of girls could stay together for another two seasons. They are a rock solid team. When they are playing to their ability, they are truly unstoppable--their passes and shots are precise, and they work together as a fluid team. For the entire season, Revolution (Hailey's and Bryan's team name) remained the number 1 team. However, their winning streak slowed after having a two week bye. Just before tournament they lost two games, which put them in 2nd place entering the tournament.  In 2nd place, the road to the championship game was more difficult. In order to make it to the championship, these girls would have to play Thursday night, Friday night, & Saturday morning.  Both Thursday and Friday were strong games for the girls. They beat their opponents 6-0, and then 7-0. 

On Saturday morning, Revolution was ready to enter the semi-finals.The girls outplayed Reign; however, the end score didn't show the results of their labors--they lost in the semi-finals. All 13 girls gathered as a team to discuss the end to their season. Tears rolled down their cheeks as they looked to my husband for reassurance. (This is where my heartstrings pulled just a bit, and where I feel Bryan demonstrated compassion.) As Bryan looked at their tear-stained faces, his voice cracked with emotion when he proclaimed, "This one is on me girls. This one is on me. Don't you dare blame yourselves. Blame me." Bryan later recounted that his heart ached as he saw the girl's disappointment. He understood their disappointment, because he felt it too. He just didn't want them walking away being disappointed in themselves. After all, they had played their hearts out, and they had had an amazing season. For these girls, it was more than just a game. These girls had put it all on the line. They put their whole hearts and souls into the game. Somehow Bryan had to reassure them that it was enough. It was his job as a coach--he had to remind them that losing a game did not define a player.  And that's exactly what he did. He knelt down and talked with them. He talked with them as a whole group--pointing out their moments of success; and then he talked to them individually--calling out individual successes of each and every player. He let them know that he was proud of them, and he then gave them hope to come out even stronger the following season. Each girl looked to him for strength, and he delivered. This was a lesson about hard work and disappointment. It was a life lesson. Sometimes in life, we don't get to choose the outcome of our situations. When this happens, there is always a silver lining--we just have to be willing to find it, and a little bit of compassion a long the way makes the search all the better.

I think this story demonstrates that when we have compassion we truly care about the people around us. We don't simply go through the motions, but we care--we love. 

Last week Amber played in sacrament meeting for the primary program. She was playing while the other girls her age were singing. She played most of the song with no hiccups; however, toward the end of the song--she slipped, and struggled to find her fingering again on the piano. She didn't quite find her place, but she kept going--she kept playing. When the song was finally over, Amber was extremely disappointed. For the rest of the meeting she cried. Bryan and I kept trying to encourage her from afar; however, there was no consoling her. When the program was over, she ran to my side and buried her head in my shoulder. As her little frame shook with disappointment, I reassured her that she did a great job, and that I was proud of her. My eyes filled with tears, and soon both Amber and I were crying on each other's shoulders. She looked up at me, and said, "Mom, if you think I did such a great job, then why are you crying?" I looked back at her, and said, "My heart hurts for you--you are sad, and that make me sad." I truly did think she did a great job. I was proud of her; however, just as Bryan loved his soccer girls, and his heart broke for their disappointment--my heart broke for Amber's disappointment.

  I was filled with compassion towards her. I truly cared about how she was feeling. However, the compassion didn't end with my tears. As Amber and I were deep in conversation, several ward members began approaching Amber to offer her words of encouragement. In fact, we were overwhelmed by the support offered by our ward--hugs were given, encouragement was offered, and by the end of that day--Amber felt reassured and confident. I attribute that confidence to the compassion of our ward members--for seeing a child in need of some love, and offering it to her. 

Isn't that what we promise in our baptismal covenant? Don't we promise to mourn with those that mourn? Comfort those that stand in need of comfort? 

I guess I think compassion means that we live up to our baptismal covenants. We love those around us--we truly love them--just like the Savior would do.