Compassion

OUR BAPTISMAL COVENANTS & COMPASSION

A friend of mine is teaching a lesson in a few weeks, and felt impressed to ask me my thoughts on compassion. This is what I wrote:

When I think about compassion, I think of the Savior's love. When we have compassion, we care about someone else the way the Savior would. We put aside our selfishness, and we open our hearts to love someone else. I wish I had a fantastic story about how compassion has changed my life. I am positive it has. I just haven't taken note of it as I should. This past year, I have often prayed for a teacher to have compassion on my son. I keep thinking that if someone would only care enough...then it would make all the difference. You see--Jake struggles in school. He doesn't struggle enough where there needs to be some big intervention--he just struggles in little ways. Those little ways are slowly pushing him further and further behind. I have often prayed for a teacher that would care enough to love my son. I am grateful for this perspective because I think it reminds me to care "enough" about those around me. It is a reminder to me to love. 

I'm reminded of compassion when I think of Hailey's soccer team this year:

There have been a lot of life lessons this year with soccer. Bryan decided to coach this year, so this group of girls could stay together for another two seasons. They are a rock solid team. When they are playing to their ability, they are truly unstoppable--their passes and shots are precise, and they work together as a fluid team. For the entire season, Revolution (Hailey's and Bryan's team name) remained the number 1 team. However, their winning streak slowed after having a two week bye. Just before tournament they lost two games, which put them in 2nd place entering the tournament.  In 2nd place, the road to the championship game was more difficult. In order to make it to the championship, these girls would have to play Thursday night, Friday night, & Saturday morning.  Both Thursday and Friday were strong games for the girls. They beat their opponents 6-0, and then 7-0. 

On Saturday morning, Revolution was ready to enter the semi-finals.The girls outplayed Reign; however, the end score didn't show the results of their labors--they lost in the semi-finals. All 13 girls gathered as a team to discuss the end to their season. Tears rolled down their cheeks as they looked to my husband for reassurance. (This is where my heartstrings pulled just a bit, and where I feel Bryan demonstrated compassion.) As Bryan looked at their tear-stained faces, his voice cracked with emotion when he proclaimed, "This one is on me girls. This one is on me. Don't you dare blame yourselves. Blame me." Bryan later recounted that his heart ached as he saw the girl's disappointment. He understood their disappointment, because he felt it too. He just didn't want them walking away being disappointed in themselves. After all, they had played their hearts out, and they had had an amazing season. For these girls, it was more than just a game. These girls had put it all on the line. They put their whole hearts and souls into the game. Somehow Bryan had to reassure them that it was enough. It was his job as a coach--he had to remind them that losing a game did not define a player.  And that's exactly what he did. He knelt down and talked with them. He talked with them as a whole group--pointing out their moments of success; and then he talked to them individually--calling out individual successes of each and every player. He let them know that he was proud of them, and he then gave them hope to come out even stronger the following season. Each girl looked to him for strength, and he delivered. This was a lesson about hard work and disappointment. It was a life lesson. Sometimes in life, we don't get to choose the outcome of our situations. When this happens, there is always a silver lining--we just have to be willing to find it, and a little bit of compassion a long the way makes the search all the better.

I think this story demonstrates that when we have compassion we truly care about the people around us. We don't simply go through the motions, but we care--we love. 

Last week Amber played in sacrament meeting for the primary program. She was playing while the other girls her age were singing. She played most of the song with no hiccups; however, toward the end of the song--she slipped, and struggled to find her fingering again on the piano. She didn't quite find her place, but she kept going--she kept playing. When the song was finally over, Amber was extremely disappointed. For the rest of the meeting she cried. Bryan and I kept trying to encourage her from afar; however, there was no consoling her. When the program was over, she ran to my side and buried her head in my shoulder. As her little frame shook with disappointment, I reassured her that she did a great job, and that I was proud of her. My eyes filled with tears, and soon both Amber and I were crying on each other's shoulders. She looked up at me, and said, "Mom, if you think I did such a great job, then why are you crying?" I looked back at her, and said, "My heart hurts for you--you are sad, and that make me sad." I truly did think she did a great job. I was proud of her; however, just as Bryan loved his soccer girls, and his heart broke for their disappointment--my heart broke for Amber's disappointment.

  I was filled with compassion towards her. I truly cared about how she was feeling. However, the compassion didn't end with my tears. As Amber and I were deep in conversation, several ward members began approaching Amber to offer her words of encouragement. In fact, we were overwhelmed by the support offered by our ward--hugs were given, encouragement was offered, and by the end of that day--Amber felt reassured and confident. I attribute that confidence to the compassion of our ward members--for seeing a child in need of some love, and offering it to her. 

Isn't that what we promise in our baptismal covenant? Don't we promise to mourn with those that mourn? Comfort those that stand in need of comfort? 

I guess I think compassion means that we live up to our baptismal covenants. We love those around us--we truly love them--just like the Savior would do.

Primary Program and Testimony Meeting

Amber’s Testimony

Amber played in the primary program to accompany the Activity Day girls. She accidentally played the introduction toward the end of the song. However, despite her fumble, she kept playing; however, she was totally heartbroken. Bryan and I kept giving her the thumbs up sign throughout the rest of the program, but she couldn't seem to get control of her tears. (She is a bit of a perfectionist.) After the program, the ward members congratulated her over and over and over and over and over again... She heard time and time again how spiritual her playing the piano made the meeting. She was given notes after primary congratulating her on a job well done. One note read, "I felt the spirit when Amber had the courage to continue playing the piano. I felt her playing was beautiful!" Another person wrote that their favorite song was the song Amber played, because Amber did such a great job on the piano. telling her how amazing her playing was, and how much it touched those present. 

Today, during testimony meeting, Amber got up and bore testimony of the power of prayer. Her voice cracked as she explained that she prayed during the primary program--after making a mistake on the piano, that she could feel peace. She explained that after the program, the ward members came to her rescue by congratulating her, and encouraging her. She bore testimony that she knew that the ward members were an answer to her prayers. 

When Amber finished bearing testimony about the power of prayer, a sister from our ward bore testimony about the power of prayer and Amber being an answer to her prayer. In last month's testimony meeting, Amber bore testimony that priesthood blessings can answer prayers--she had already shared this experience in a past testimony meeting, so I was somewhat surprised when she shared it again; however, I kept my surprise to myself, and I am so glad that I did. Sister Eldredge stood up and bore testimony that Amber's testimony last month was an answer to her prayers. She had been praying for guidance, and much needed direction when Amber's testimony of the power of priesthood blessings entered her mind. Feeling it to be an answer to her prayer, she chose to receive a priesthood blessing, which she felt helped her to make a needed decision in her life.

Heavenly Father truly is aware of each of us. He loves us and He desires to send us blessings. If we can be in tune with the Spirit, we can be an answer to someone else's prayer. The ward member's were an answer to Amber's prayer, and Amber was the answer to Sister Eldredge's prayer. After church I asked Amber about baring her testimony the previous month, and she said she was just so impressed to say what she did.

Power of Examples and The Power of God in Our Lives

Last night we went to a piano recital for my kids. One of the students performing was a young man in our Stake who has Down syndrome. He was placed in the front of the room with the other students. His mother sat directly behind him, so that she could remind him to be quiet through the performances. Every so often he would turn around, wave at his dad, and loudly whisper—“I love you dad, I love you dad.” His turn to perform finally arrived, and he was ecstatic. I could tell that music connected with his soul. When he was finished with his piece, he clasps his hands together, and threw them up in the air, shaking them from side to side as he seemed to be shouting, “hooray, and hooray.” Again, I was touched by his enthusiasm, and his genuine love. The last number of the evening was played by his sister, and much to her embarrassment—he insisted on her bowing more than once, because of his pure joy at how well she had done.

As I watched this young man express love to those around him, I thought of his example of pure love. I looked at my family, and I was reminded of the precious gift they truly are. I found myself moved to tears as I recommitted to speak of my love more often, to express it in action as well as word. Sometimes I get so busy with the day to day tasks that I neglect to stop and enjoy the moment. I don’t want the “moments” to pass me by.  

The other day as I was working with my son on his reading, I found myself getting frustrated. Jacob struggles with reading, but he is extremely capable. As we work, he gets better day by day. Sometimes he has a desire to persevere and to work, but other times—it’s just too hard. It was one of those “it’s just too hard” kind of days, and I found myself losing my patience at his lack of effort. I’m not sure what the “best” parenting technique would have been in this scenario, but I know that being impatient wasn't the technique I should have been using. Last night’s recital reminded me of the sanctity of our families, of the things that matter most, of the importance of patience even when it is so hard to be patient. I’m grateful to my Savior for his patience with me. Because of Him, I get to have a “redo” today. The atonement is a beautiful gift. I cannot adequately express through words my gratitude to my Savior—He loved me enough that He gave His life, so that I might continually work at becoming more like Him. Today I will start again. I will pray to be guided, and as I seek Him, I know that day by day I can overcome. I can express the love that is in my heart, and I can be the mom I want to become.

I'm so proud of the hard work and effort my kid's put into their piano this year. Both Hailey and Amber received an award that takes at least three years of near perfect performances at the spring festival. Here's my description from my journal, of what they did to prepare, and the miracles that have transpired through prayer:

My girl’s have been in piano for quite some time. Every spring they play in what is called “Spring Festival”—they don’t necessarily perform for an audience, but rather a judge. The judge holds their music in hand, while they perform. She critiques everything about what they are playing—their dynamics, quarter notes, eighth notes, tempo, crescendos, memory, timing…essentially the song has to be perfect in order to receive a superior. Once a superior is earned for three years, then the pianist is presented with a trophy of achievement. It is something my girls have worked extremely hard to obtain. This year happens to be the third year for both Hailey and Amber, and they have been anticipating the Spring Festival for quite some time. When they received their music, all was well for a time; however, it soon became apparent that the music Amber was being asked to perform was outside of her ability. With only a few weeks left to her big performance, Amber approached her dad for a Father’s blessing. In the blessing, Amber was promised that if she continued to work, the Lord would bless her with the ability to perform. At Amber’s next lesson, her piano teacher was amazed at her progress. At the following lesson, her teacher admitted that she had been worried, and explained that Amber’s progress was a miracle. Amber told her teacher of her Father’s blessing, and her teacher—with tears in her eyes—bore testimony that the blessing had been pronounced upon Amber’s head. That Sunday, Amber stood during Fast and Testimony Meeting, and bore her testimony of the Priesthood power. She explained how she wasn't prepared for the festival even though she had worked extremely hard to be prepared. She bore testimony of the power of Heavenly Father in our lives' when we turn to Him for help. She testified that her progress was through Him. After Sacrament Meeting, while in Relief Society, someone commented on Amber’s testimony. One of the women touched by Amber’s testimony was a visitor to our ward. After the meeting, she asked me to inform her mother (who was in our ward) of Amber’s results as she would be praying for Amber throughout the week.  I was touched by her kind thoughts and her willingness to pray. The following week Amber performed her songs for the judges with very little mishap, and received a Superior on both of her songs. The hard work and dedication had definitely paid off.  With a great deal of relief, I silently put the whole experience behind us; however, the following Monday I received a phone call from the mother of the woman who said she would be praying for us. It had slipped my mind to contact her, so when I received her call, I felt terrible that I had neglected to report. I think I secretly wondered if she was truly interested in the results, or if she was simply being kind. The mother explained to me that her daughter had been praying for my daughter’s success, and needed to know how the piano festival had gone. I was touched that the woman who had said she would pray—truly did pray. I was also touched that she remembered Amber, and I could feel the Spirit whisper a tender mercy we had been given. I was grateful to this woman for her generosity, and thanked her for following up with me.