Writing Him on My Heart

The Faith of a Parent

As I was thinking of all that I lack when it comes to parenting, I remembered this post from my scripture blog. I felt like preserving it on this blog as well. It is a reminder to me in whom I should trust.

I love that an angel comes to Alma because of others' prayers. To think that I may pray for something so momentous, to think that my faith as a parent can truly make an impact on my children, gives me reassurance. My parenting doesn't have to be one sided. The Lord wants me to be in partnership with Him. I think--too often, I feel alone in my parenting, or for that matter--anything else. When I turn inside myself, I am somewhat alone. The Lord is always there, but unless I choose to access Him in my life His influence isn't as strong. As I pray to Him, I develop a partnership with God. He can then help me in all of my endeavors--no matter what our struggle might be! 

Right now my little guy is struggling in school. He has started a learning program, which takes an hour every single day practicing drills. This program helps him process better--it's a way of "fixing" his processing. In the process of "fixing", my patience is often at the surface. These drills are not easy. They take a lot of time, and they quite often have to be simplified, and broken down. On top of that, we just started school, and Jacob is required to do a lot of homework. Last night we spent two hours on homework in addition to Jacob's learning technics. What would take some kids only an hour to complete--takes Jake double. He tries extremely hard, and his heart is in it--he just can't seem to process as fast. By the end of our two hour homework scenario, I was mentally done for the night; however, I wasn't physically done. I was still staring into an hour of learning technics as well. It was 8:30 pm--his bedtime, and we were not done. My mental sanity was definitely shaken. I needed the Lord more than ever. I needed Him to help me stay sane, but more importantly to help me be patient with a beautiful child that was truly trying his best. I wish I could say that I was the ultimate example of patience. After I tucked Jacob into bed, I went into his room to love and kiss on him. I told him how proud I was of him, and how sorry I was that I was frustrated. As I was speaking with my little boy, and looking into his beautiful eyes, I knew I needed God. I knew I couldn't do it alone. Kissing him goodnight, I began a prayer to my Heavenly Father. My prayers were prayers of pleading. They were prayers that ache. My heart truly desires to "be" the "best" mom ever! To be honest, I am not even sure what "the best mom" entails. If I could list a few of  her talents, I would list a mom with ultimate patience, a mom with a listening ear, a fun mom, a caring mom, an in-tune mom, a spiritual mom..., and the list continues.  Some of these things, I feel I am accomplishing; however, I am definitely  not accomplishing all of it. The thing is: I don't have to. We don't have to. I truly believe that we must do our best, give everything we have--and then we must pray like it will make up all the difference, because I honestly believe it will. It did for Alma.