In A Moment

Sometimes in life little circumstances occur that enlighten our understanding and teach us lessons. This week I've been working on organizing my pictures, and writing our family story. I noticed that my computer somehow had saved two sets of pictures. Two sets for every picture I had ever taken all the way back to 2001. I spent 5 hours organizing one set of pictures, and then when I was completely finished with my organization, I decided to delete the extra picture folder. I checked and double checked, and then pushed delete. Within seconds my picture folder was wiped clean. Not just one folder, but both folders. I hadn't realized that the picture folders were within the same folder, so rather than deleting the extra folder, I somehow deleted all of my pictures. Thankfully, my pictures were not lost forever—they were saved on my external hard drive; however, the time I had just spent into organizing my pictures was lost. In one second I was able to delete hours of work that would take me hours to rebuild. In fact, I spent the following day rebuilding my organization and ten hours later—I was still not finished.  As I thought about this scenario, I made a parallel to our lives. Many of our bad decisions in life can be done in a moment; however, the process of repenting isn't always so easy.  In 3 Nephi 18:15 it says, “Verily, verily, I say unto you, ye must watch and pray always lest ye be tempted by the devil, and be led away captive by him.” I truly believe that we are in a war with Satan. He is good at what he does. If we are not actively working at choosing the right, and seeking Heavenly Father, then I think those moments of "bad decision making" can catch us off guard. My husband has often said to my children, “Don’t trade what you want most, for what you want right now”. Our ultimate goal is eternal life; however, it is easy to lose sight of this goal in the midst of our day to day struggles. Thankfully, the Savior has died for us, and has made a way for us to return from our moments of bad decision making. The small moments, and the big moments—for we all need the Savior. We are not meant to be perfect—not yet anyway.  But each of us can choose whether or not we trade our ultimate happiness for a moment of what we think to be happiness. I have moments every day in which I need the atonement of the Savior. I am truly grateful that He has provided a way for me to repent.

Scripture Study

I was touched while reading,  Helaman 10:4 when it said, "Blessed art thou, Nephi, for those things which thou hast done; for I have beheld how thou hast with unwearyingness declared the word, which I have given unto thee, unto this people. And thou hast not sought thine own life, but hast sought my will, and to keep my commandments." I like how it says, "thou hast not sought thine own life, but hast sought my will". Isn't that the challenge of this life? To conform our will's to the Lord's will isn't always a black and white scenario. Sometimes, as we venture through life, we act in ways that are in accordance to what we think, what we want--without even realizing that our will is in the driver's seat.
Recently, I have been struggling with one of my church meetings. It seems that every time I comment, another sister will comment on the reverse opinion. Which, to be honest, has great validity as well, and needs to be taken into account. My concern is that the feeling of the meetings seem to be pointing to God having no expectation of us, which I know that many of my Christian friends believe; however, my religion doesn't believe that. We believe that Christ has suffered for our sins, and he will cleanse us from our sins--after we have done all that we can do. In the Bible it states that, "faith without works is dead". I believe that. We have to be willing to do our part in order to qualify ourselves for the atoning sacrifice of our Savior. With that being said, we also deny our Savior when we attempt to beat ourselves up, and put ourselves down for whatever we lack. When we turn to the Savior, in whatever struggle we find ourselves, we are using the atonement. It is that act of turning to the Savior that matters. However, when we choose to use means to "justify" our actions, we are not turning to our Savior.
The Savior once asked His disciples, "What shall a man give in exchange for his soul?" (Matthew 16:26) In a conference talk by Robert C. Gay, he said, "This is the exchange the Savior is asking of us; we are to give up all our sins, big or small, for the Father's reward of eternal life. We are to forget self-justifying stories, excuses, rationalizations, defense mechanisms, procrastinations, appearances, personal pride, judgmental thoughts, and doing things our way. We are to separate ourselves from all worldliness and take upon us the image of God in our countenances" (What Shall a Man Give in Exchange for His Soul?, Elder Robert C. Gay, October 2012 General Conference).
This is not to say that we need to beat ourselves up, or feel that we are unworthy--again, that would be denying the Savior's atonement as well. Elder Utchdorf said, "I want to tell you something that I hope you will take in the right way: God is fully aware that you and I are not perfect. Let me add: God is also fully aware that the people you think are perfect are not" (Forget Me Not, Dieter F. Utchdorf, November 2011 Ensign). Heavenly Father does not expect perfection from us. He expects that we will continually turn our hearts to Him, and seek to do His will. He expects us to work towards becoming perfect, but none of us will become perfected without the Savior--this is not a goal we can obtain on our own, nor is it something that will happen in this life. However, we can't "justify" away our actions because we are not expected to be perfect. We must persevere.
Perhaps that is why I felt so inspired by Nephi. I was touched by his "unwearyingness" to preach the Gospel, and to perservere. I've been tempted to volunteer in other capacities, so as to not have to attend that meeting. I had almost convinced myself that it was okay to "not testify", but to rather "allow them their opinion"; however, I don't think that is what the Savior would have me do. I think He would ask me to proclaim my feelings--even when I am being refuted every time I open my mouth. I am inspired by the words of Nephi. It gives me courage to be what the Lord wants me to be.

Redo

A few months ago, my mother-in-law entrusted my husband and I with her most prized possession—a necklace made from her mother’s wedding ring. She had left it at the cabin, and asked that we deliver it to her. Knowing how important this item was to my mother-in-law, my husband and I discussed ways in keeping it safe, and then followed through with a plan. However, when it came time to deliver the necklace to my mother-in-law, the necklace was no longer where it had been placed for safe keeping. This realization ensued several weeks of searching and praying for the lost heirloom. Throughout this time of prayer and contemplation, my soul longed for a “redo”. My mind was relentless with the “if only’s”, and the “should of’s”. I couldn’t help but think of the several different ways in which I could have done, or what I should have done. As I longed for a “redo”, I was taught a lesson. I’m not sure if it was a dream, or exactly how this experience occurred, but in my mind I saw myself standing in front of my Savior after I had completed my time here on Earth. As I stood, my mind wondered—will I want a “redo”, or will I have done all that I could? This was the first lesson. I spent a week reflecting on my life—evaluating whether or not I was doing all that I could or should be doing. Not to the point of beating myself up—I didn’t think that was the lesson. I simply searched and evaluated who I was, and what I was doing. When President Hinckley was alive, he often said, “Try a little harder to be a little better” (We Have Work to Do, Gordon B. Hinckley, April 1995). He promised us that “We can do it, if we will be prayerful and faithful. We can do better than we have ever done before” (We Have Work to Do, Gordon B. Hinckley, April 1995). This was the lesson I was learning. The lesson of perseverance and determination to do all that my Father has asked. The second lesson came when I was talking to a friend about my desire for a “redo”. As I was describing this experience, she reminded me that we do get a “redo”—every day we can have a “redo”—if we choose to use the Savior’s atonement.  In 2 Nephi 10:23 it reads, “Therefore, cheer up your hearts, and remember that ye are free to act for yourselves—to choose the way of everlasting death or the way of eternal life.” I love this scripture. Through our agency, we can choose the way of eternal life. We will absolutely have struggles, trials, and once in a while we will also sin. But, through our agency we can choose to start again; we can choose to put into action the most blessed gift of the atonement; we can choose a “redo”. So, let us begin today. Let us “try a little harder to be a little better”, and as we use the atonement, we will be prepared to meet our Savior already having accomplished that much desired “redo”, and we will be welcomed into his loving arms.

Starting School this week has brought some conversations into our home:

Jacob said at school:
Jake: “I can’t wait to go on a mission.”
Girl: “What’s a mission?”
Jake: “It’s when you go to serve the Lord.”
Girl: “I don’t want do that.”

Jake During Family Prayer:
Jake: “I love that mommy plays with me. Well…except for during the school year. We get too busy.”

Jake’s prayer during the first week of school:

I love my mommy
Thank you for my mom
Please help me to always have my mom
and always love my mom
I want to be righteous
I want to always choose the right
I want to choose the right every day and be righteous every day
Please help me to be righteous

Giving Thanks

How many times in our lives are we blessed, and then we neglect to offer a prayer of thanks? Sometimes I think I take the "little things" for granted. I simply don't realize how many blessings I am receiving, and that those blessings are a direct gift from my Father in Heaven. Today while studying my scriptures, I read about how King Benjamin admonished his people to offer thanks. He explained to the people exactly why and how they should he grateful. He said to offer thanks "to the Lord their God, who had brought them out of the land of Jerusalem, and who had delivered them out of the hands of their enemies, and had appointed just men to be their king, who had established peace in the land of Zarahemla, and who had taught them to keep the commandments of God" (Mosiah 2:4). I need King Benjamin to give me a list of what I should be thankful for, because I know I unknowingly neglect to offer thanks. King Benjamin told his people to be thankful for their leaders. Do I pray for my leaders? Not only our country leaders, but our church leaders as well? Do I remember to be thankful for my bishop, my prophet, or my Sunday School teachers? Am I thankful in the little things as well--like my son's triumph's in reading, or my daughters' happy attitude? There is something to be said for a thankful heart. I truly believe when we see the blessings in our daily lives, we also see the hand of God, and by so doing--our hearts are turned to Him, and we walk in His way.

Last week our air-conditioning unit would not work. While the outside temperatures were reaching 108 degrees, our house was trying to compete. Sometimes being outside was more comfortable than being inside. The house was so hot that simply sitting would cause me to break out in a sweat. The air was stifling, and thick. For five days, we were in misery. During the moments of extreme heat, my kids would grab ice from the freezer and coat their faces and mouths with it. As we suffered through those days without air conditioning, I kept thinking of how grateful I was for air-conditioning, and how grateful I would be when air-conditioning worked again. Air-conditioning was something I had neglected to be grateful for in the past--it simply hadn't ever occurred to me to express my gratitude for my comfort. However, through this experience my eye's have been opened to just how many blessings I am granted on a daily basis. I am grateful for this lesson on gratitude. I am humbled at my previous lack of gratitude. This experience has caused me to wonder--what else am I forgetting to offer thanks?

As King Benjamin continued his address to his people he said, "I say unto you, my brethren, that if you should render all the thanks and praise which your whole soul has power to possess, to that God who has created you, and has kept and preserved you, and has caused that ye should rejoice and has granted that ye should live in peace one with another--I say unto you that if ye should serve him who has created you from the beginning, and is preserving you from day to day, by lending you breath, that ye may live and move and do according to your own will, and even supporting you from one moment to another--I say, if ye should serve him with all your whole souls yet ye would be unprofitable servants. And behold, all that he requires of you is to keep his commandments; and he has promised that if ye would keep his commandments ye should prosper in the land..."

OH, HOW I AM BLESSED!!! I need to offer more prayers of thanksgiving. I need to pray for a thankful heart. It causes me to reflect on the scriptures when Jesus healed the ten lepers and only one of them expressed gratitude. In Luke 17:12- 17 states, "And as he entered into a certain village, there met him ten men that were lepers, which stood afar off: And they lifted up their voices, and said, Jesus, Master, have mercy on us. And when he saw them, he said unto them, Go shew yourselves unto the priests. And it came to pass, that, as they went they were cleansed. And one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, and with a loud voice glorified God, And fell down on his face at his feet, giving him thanks: and he was a Samaritan. And Jesus answering said, Were there not ten cleansed? But where are the other nine?" How many times am I like the other nine? How many times am I like the one? I truly want to be the kind of person who is grateful for all my blessings.

President Thomas S. Monson said, "Like the leprosy of yesteryear are the plagues of today. They linger; they debilitate; they destroy. They are to be found everywhere. Their pervasiveness knows no boundaries. We know them as selfishness, greed, indulgence, cruelty, and crime, to identify but a few. Surfeited with their poison, we tend to criticize, to complain, to blame, and, slowly but surely, to abandon the positives and adopt the negatives of life.

A popular refrain from the 1940s captured the thought:

Accentuate the positive;
Eliminate the negative.
Latch on to the affirmative;
Don't mess with Mr. In-between.

Good advice then. Good advice now.

This is wonderful time to be living here on earth. Our opportunities are limitless. While there are some things wrong in the world today, there are many things right, such as teachers who teach, ministers who minister, marriages that make it, parents who sacrifice, and friends who help. We can lift ourselves, and others as well, when we refuse to remain in the realm of negative thought and cultivate within our hearts an attitude of gratitude. If ingratitude be numbered among the serious sins, then gratitude takes its place among the noblest of virtues" (Thomas. S. Monson, "An Attitude of Gratitude," Ensign, May 1992, 54).

At another time, President Thomas S. Monson shared a story about finding joy in the journey. He told a story about Borghild Dahl. He said, "she was born in Minnesota in 1890 of Nowegian parents and from her early years suffered severely impaired vision. She had a tremendous desire to participate in everyday life despite her handicap and, through sheer determination, succeeded in nearly everything she undertook. Against the advice of educators, who felt her handicap was too great, she attended college, receiving her bachelor of arts degree from the University of Minnesota. She later studied at Columbia University and the University of Olso. She eventually became the principal of eight schools in western Minnesota and North Dakota.

She wrote the following in one of her 17 books she authored: 'I had only one eye, and it was so covered with dense scars that I had to do all my seeing through one small opening in the left of the eye. I could see a book only by holding it up close to my face and by straining my one eye as hard as I could to the left.'

Miraculously, in 1943--when she was over 50 years old--a revolutionary procedure was developed which finally restored to her much of the sight she had been without for so long. A new and exciting world opened up before her. She took great pleasure in the small things most of us take for granted, such as watching a bird in flight, noticing the light reflected in the bubbles of her dishwater, or observing the phases of the moon each night. She closed one of her books with these words: 'Dear ... Father in heaven, I thank Thee. I thank Thee.'

Borghild Dahl both before and after her sight was restored, was filled with gratitude for her blessings.

In 1982, two years before she died, at the age of 92 her last book was published. It title: "Happy All My Life". Her attitude of thankfulness enabled her to appreciate her blessings and to live life a full and rich life despite her challenges" (Thomas S. Monson, Finding Joy in the Journey," Ensign, Nov. 2008, 84-87).

I have a dear friend who finds joy in the "little things", and I am grateful for her example. As we run, she shouts out with excitement every time we see a bird, a duck, or any kind of wildlife. She takes pictures of the baby birds hatching by her house. She sees the beauty of God's hand in her surroundings. As I have watched her example, I too--have found myself excited for the beauty around me. I am grateful that she has opened my eyes. I am so blessed to have friends who teach me by their example. I am so blessed to have a wonderful husband who cares for me. I am so blessed to have three beautiful, kind-hearted children. I am so blessed to watch them grow, and to be their mother. I am so blessed to have an extended family who also cares and uplifts my family. I am so blessed to be able to spend time with my family--immediate and extended. I am so blessed to have summer breaks. I am so blessed to have air-conditioning...  

SEEKING THE SAVIOR 

I've been lying in bed all night hoping to be able to fall asleep. The past two nights I have been in such extreme pain that I have been unable to sleep. The pain began last Friday, but I quickly dismissed it. On Sunday, I could no longer convince myself that it was nothing, and I went into the dentist office first thing Monday morning. Who would have thought that an abscessed tooth could cause so much pain? Now, three days later...three days after having a root canal--I am still in extreme pain. The dentist said that the infection had spread to my gums. It is his hope that the antibiotics will fight the infection and the swelling will stop. For the moment, my cheek has swollen past its normal limit, my ear is throbbing with the infection, and my glands are also swollen. Last night my son accidentally bumped my cheek, and I couldn't help but cry.

Tonight, while lying in bed, my pain throbbed my cheeks, and I turned to my Heavenly Father in prayer. This wasn't my first prayer through this ordeal. I've been praying the whole time. However, this time as I prayed, I felt prompted in my prayer. I felt my inner being ask for the strength to withstand the pain. I asked for the comfort of the Savior, and I prayed that He would be with me. As these words were spoken, I was reminded of our spiritual journey in this life.

 

We need our Savior to withstand the temptations that so easily beset us. This life is meant to test us. It is meant to purify our hearts--either we turn to our Savior, or we don't. One of my favorite scriptures is found in 2 Nephi. It reads, "Therefore, cheer up your hearts, and remember that ye are free to act for yourselves--to choose the way of everlasting death or the way of eternal life" (2 Nephi 10:23). I love the gift of agency. I love that we are allowed to choose our path. With that being said, we cannot expect to traverse this world without Christ--to withstand alone is impossible. He suffered so that He might succor us in our trials--not only the temptations of this life, but also all of the heart ache we will face. His sacrifice can carry us to eternal life--if we turn to Him.  So, will we turn to Him? Will we seek Him in our trials? I have no doubt that He is waiting--waiting for us to open the door and let Him in.

The PARABLE of THE SNOOPY PIGGY BANK

When I was a young child (sometime before I was old enough to attend school), my parents had given me a Snoopy Piggy Bank. It was about 8-10 inches tall. It was made of clear glass, so that you could watch the contents of the bank increase as money was deposited. It was a savings bank--one that could only be opened only through breaking the glass of the piggy bank. My parent's intent in giving me the bank was exactly the purpose of the bank--to learn how to save money; however, in my childlike impatience of learning this valuable lesson--I learned another lesson.

I had only had the bank for a short time when I grew impatient with the growth of the money. I wanted to see the bank full. I imagined what it would look like, and I longed for it to be a reality. One day as I was contemplating the importance of filling my piggy bank, it occurred to me that my mother's purse always had money. This thought brightened my mind with excitement, and I rushed to ask my mom if I could use the money in her purse to fill my piggy bank. When I found my mom, she was talking on the phone, and so I sat by her side patiently waiting for the moment in which I could ask her permission. However, I wasn't waiting for long before I grew impatient, and I determined that I didn't need to ask for I was sure that my mother wouldn't care if I used her money. I was so convinced that she would share it with me that I began filling my piggy bank with the contents of her purse--without asking for permission. I remember feeling completely ecstatic as I watched the money grow inside my bank. With my limited understanding, I had no concept of the actual dollar amount that was being placed into my piggy bank. The only understanding I had was that the contents of the bank looked more than it had previously, and for a few bliss moments--I was satisfied.
 
My naive understanding was awakened later that day when my mother and I went grocery shopping and I watched my mother try to pay for the groceries. I watched as she explained to the clerk that she really did have money. I watched as she grew embarrassed while she searched the contents of her purse. I watched as she cried apologizing to the clerk, and then as we left the store without the groceries. I listened as my mother cried to my father about the disappearance of the money. And my understanding was no longer naive, and my heart was no longer gladdened by the amount of money in my piggy bank. I knew that I had done something wrong, and I knew that I needed to tell my mom and dad what I had done, but I was nervous. And so I sat on the stairs, holding my piggy bank, and I cried. I cried because I knew that my piggy bank was going to be broken. And I cried because I was sorry for what I had done. I remember sitting on the stairs for quite some time gathering the courage to face my parents. And then I remember facing them. I remember handing my father my piggy bank, and apologizing to my mother for what I had done. I remember standing in front of them expectantly awaiting my punishment. My father looked at me for a long time, and when he spoke--it was kind and loving. He told me that he was proud of me for having the courage to tell the truth. He then handed me my piggy bank, and said that he wasn't going to break it. He said that he wanted me to remember the lesson of the piggy bank. He wanted me to remember the feelings I had when I had done something wrong, and also to remember the feelings I felt when I had repented. He wanted the piggy bank to serve as a reminder of choosing to be honest. And he wanted me to BE honest.

My dad's wisdom in allowing me to keep the piggy bank profoundly affected my life. It not only taught me about honesty, but many other lessons were embedded within the parable of the piggy bank. As I grew older and I looked through the glass at the money within my piggy bank, I began to realize the sacrifice it must have been to allow me to keep the piggy bank--there were hundreds of dollars jammed into the crevices of that piggy bank. And somehow seeing this taught me that being Christ-like is more valuable than any amount of money. I was so touched by the lessons of the piggy bank that I shared this lesson with many friends. Numerous people held and touched the piggy bank, and numerous people learned from my dad's wisdom. Then one day the bank was gone. I searched for hours, but to no avail. And somehow--it seems fitting that the piggy bank would be gone after so many years--for it had served its purpose. It had given me the resolve to always be honest, and it allowed me an understanding of a parent's love for a child with a lesson of not only honesty, but the proper perspective on money. As I remember the Snoopy Piggy Bank, I remember what it means to be Christ-like and THAT is worth more than a piggy bank full of money.